I have to say, 2010 I'm not that impressed with you. There were some good time (the Harry Connick Jr concert was AMAZING!), but overall, 2010 was a hard year for me. I did manage to accomplish the 2 things I felt were necessary-
(1) Getting Mickey a diagnosis. This was big for us. Hubby and I both make the decision that no matter what, we were going to continue to push towards getting her a diagnosis this year. That meant more specialist and more testing, but we pushed through. In the end, Mickey has been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. It's very rare in children her age, especially since we know for sure she's had it since 2 (maybe even before that). There is not much that can be done for here at this age, so we have chosen to manage her symptoms with diet and suppliments. So far it's working pretty well and she is no longer in pain on a daily basis.
(2) Getting control of my weight. This is still an on going battle. I have completely changed the way I eat and what I eat. As I like to put it- I have scrubbed my diet clean :). No more lying to myself about my food choices, now I know they are healthy. Along with my girls, I have chosen to go gluten free. I have a gluten intolerance, just like they do and eating foods that contain gluten, keep me from losing weight. I started going to the gym again in July and also began working with personal trainers. Since July, I've lost 25 pounds (it was closer to 30, but I gained a few like I do every month right before my period- isn't being a woman fun!). I still have a long way to go, but it feels good to know that I'm on my way.
I have high hopes for 2011-
(1) MOVING! This one definitely tops the list. We want to move closer to our friends and family. Also, with Mickey's Fibromyalgia, she would do much better in a dryer/milder climate. We were hoping for Southern California, but lately we have really warmed up to the idea of moving to Arizona. So right now, that is our current mission (hopefully to be accomplished by no later than summer of 2011).
(2) Continued weight loss. This is very important to me. It's not just a vanity thing. I'm not trying to like a super model or anything crazy like that. I just want to be the healthiest possible and that means getting to and maintaining a healthy weight. I have made too many excuses for far too long and I know that if I continue down this road I will burden my body with health problems that will just make life harder. I need to be able to not only take care of my family, but be able to help Mickey. She is growing up with a life long illness that will sometimes break her down and leave her in pain and miserable. She needs help and support, but also a mom that shows her a healthy example of how to live.
(3) Homeschooling. Mickey will start kindergarten this Fall and Amee will start 5th grade. I plan on homeschooling both of them. We had already made plans to homeschool Mickey, her health problems will just make public school too stressful. For Amee, really I'm just done with public schools. She has fallen into a gray area of struggling just enough to make her miserable, but not enough to get extra help. I want both of children to succeed and be able to follow their dream careers (even if they do change 50 times lol), so Amee will be homeschooled as well so that I can give her as much focused attention as she needs.
(4) Do more activities with the kids, including at home activities. This should be easier since we won't be fighting a public school schedule anymore :).
(5) Clean more. I'm a horrible housewife, lol. I'm not the worst, I don't sit around stuffing my face all day and watching trash tv, but I could be better. I've already started. I'm doing better about keeping up on the vacuuming and getting the kitchen pretty much clean the night before. Laundry is still an issue. I get it done, just not usually put away. I have gotten better about folding and putting away the girls laundry (making it easier for Amee to pick out her clothes in the morning), but I still just throw our clean laundry in our room and forget about it. I think I'm going to start making a cleaning schedule, that way I put 1-2 day aside for laundry and can get it all done and put away.
(6) Set more time aside for blogging. It really is theraputic for me. I usually do think about it, but then I find something else that needs to be done and forget. Just like my me time at the gym, I need some me time for my brain.
I think that's pretty much it. There are a lot of other little things I want for next year, but they all kind of fall into the other big things (most of them fall into the moving catagory lol).
So good by 2010, sorry to say we aren't going to miss you! Bring on 2011, please don't dissapoint!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
I Learned Something New Tonight
If you are using the "quick start" on an elliptical, it cuts you off at 30 minutes! lol
I had no freaking idea!
Since I started back at the gym in July, I've been using the "quick start" on the elliptical. It's just easier, punch in your weight, push the button, then crank up the resistance to your desired level (mine is currently 12-15 depending on how I'm feeling). I would just go until I felt I had to stop, usually because my feet would start to lose feeling (I have poor circulation). I always had to stop before 30 minutes. But tonight, I was going along, feeling good, enjoying my music, reading a magazine, when I notice the resistance dissapears! So I check and sure enough it switched me to "cool down" mode at 28 minutes. I kept going, figuring it would just let me go like some treadmills do, but NO, it stopped at 30 minutes. I looked at the screen and said (a little louder than planned) "Did I say you could stop!?!" Ya, that was a bit embarassing lol, but at least the few remaining gym patrons got a good laugh.
But now I am quite proud of myself! It looks like I will actually have to start setting a time on the elliptical :). It's the little things in life that bring me joy.
I had no freaking idea!
Since I started back at the gym in July, I've been using the "quick start" on the elliptical. It's just easier, punch in your weight, push the button, then crank up the resistance to your desired level (mine is currently 12-15 depending on how I'm feeling). I would just go until I felt I had to stop, usually because my feet would start to lose feeling (I have poor circulation). I always had to stop before 30 minutes. But tonight, I was going along, feeling good, enjoying my music, reading a magazine, when I notice the resistance dissapears! So I check and sure enough it switched me to "cool down" mode at 28 minutes. I kept going, figuring it would just let me go like some treadmills do, but NO, it stopped at 30 minutes. I looked at the screen and said (a little louder than planned) "Did I say you could stop!?!" Ya, that was a bit embarassing lol, but at least the few remaining gym patrons got a good laugh.
But now I am quite proud of myself! It looks like I will actually have to start setting a time on the elliptical :). It's the little things in life that bring me joy.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Insomnia- The Sanity Killer
What's worse than an adult with insomia? A child with insomnia!
Last night I was feeling great. I started using an energy suppliment recommended by my trainer, along with a suppliment to help maintain and recover my muscles after a hard workout. So after my workout, I felt fantastic! I got home about 9:20pm and jumped in the shower. After my wonderful shower, I called for the hubby to.... um..... join me in the bedroom ;). And that's when I heard it, a little voice calling "Mommy" from the girl's bedroom. CRAP! The girls go to bed between 8 and 8:30, it was now after 9:30 and Mickey had already take 5mg of melatonin. But when I opened the door, there she was all bright eyed and way too awake for 9:30 at night. We convinced her to go back to bed and I hoped that would be the end of it. But an hour later she was complaining of needing to use the bathroom.
After that, I figured she has to be too exhausted to stay awake any longer. But of course, now I'm all worried about her and not tired myself. I took my melatonin around 11ish hoping sleepiness would soon follow. Coming up on midnight I decide to call it quits. I turn on the monitor and I hear Mickey talking. SHE WAS STILL AWAKE!!!! I gave her a second melatonin and remind her to be quiet and go to sleep (the last thing I needed was her waking up Amee).
The rest of the night was pretty much me listening to her toss and turn, causing me to toss and turn as well. I'm thinking it's highly unlikely we got more than 2 hours of sleep. Oh well, such is life I suppose :/. Tonight is another night and hopefully it will be filled with peaceful silence and blissful dreaming.
Last night I was feeling great. I started using an energy suppliment recommended by my trainer, along with a suppliment to help maintain and recover my muscles after a hard workout. So after my workout, I felt fantastic! I got home about 9:20pm and jumped in the shower. After my wonderful shower, I called for the hubby to.... um..... join me in the bedroom ;). And that's when I heard it, a little voice calling "Mommy" from the girl's bedroom. CRAP! The girls go to bed between 8 and 8:30, it was now after 9:30 and Mickey had already take 5mg of melatonin. But when I opened the door, there she was all bright eyed and way too awake for 9:30 at night. We convinced her to go back to bed and I hoped that would be the end of it. But an hour later she was complaining of needing to use the bathroom.
After that, I figured she has to be too exhausted to stay awake any longer. But of course, now I'm all worried about her and not tired myself. I took my melatonin around 11ish hoping sleepiness would soon follow. Coming up on midnight I decide to call it quits. I turn on the monitor and I hear Mickey talking. SHE WAS STILL AWAKE!!!! I gave her a second melatonin and remind her to be quiet and go to sleep (the last thing I needed was her waking up Amee).
The rest of the night was pretty much me listening to her toss and turn, causing me to toss and turn as well. I'm thinking it's highly unlikely we got more than 2 hours of sleep. Oh well, such is life I suppose :/. Tonight is another night and hopefully it will be filled with peaceful silence and blissful dreaming.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Our Reality (Sometimes It Just Plain Sucks!)
I have neglected my blog. My mind has been elsewhere lately. On December 5th we took the kids out to see Tangled. Adorable movie! Absolutely worth the small fortune it costs for 4 people to go see a movie at the theater. It was also Mickey's first time seeing a movie in the theater and she loved it :). Unfortunately, since then she just hasn't been herself. I don't know if it's just a coincidence or from sitting in one place for so long, or being out in the wet and cold, or from the excitement of seeing a movie or possibly a combination of all those things. Since that evening she has had a fever on and off (up to 100.8), more stomach pain than usual and her appetite has been all over the place (she'll complain being hungry, take two bites and then say she's full and other times she eats just fine). It's been a couple of months since she's had a flare up that lasted more than a couple of days.
The stomach pain really had us worried earlier this week. Usually her pain is located around her belly button and is fairly mild (I figure it's probably usually gas, but because of her sensitivity to pain it feels uncomfortable). She doesn't complain too much. She'll tell me it hurts and then move on. But on Monday she was complaining about it hurting alot and also was saying that her right hip hurt. I didn't think much of it, figured it was just joint pain from all the wet weather we've been having. But her appetite was weird. She didn't even want to eat her favorite dinner. Tuesday morning she still had the pain and a low grade fever. I asked her to show me where her hip hurt. Turns out it was actually her abdomen that hurt, just above the right hip. So I pressed on it and she was almost instantly in tears. CRAP!
So now I'm losing it a bit. Of course my first thought was appendicitis. It would be most parents first thought when their child presents with low grade fever and intense pain in the right lower quadrant of the abdomen. But now I'm conflicted. She will usually run low grade fevers with a bad flare and she has some kind of abdominal discomfort every day. So what do I do? Is this unusual enough to warrant an ER trip or am I simply overreacting to a bad flare?
Well, long story short- I asked hubby to come home early and we spent 2+ hours at our clinic's urgent care. Blood test did not show any infection, so no ER. Thank goodness! But now I sit back and think "This is it. This is my life". My daughter has a chronic condition and it will always make deciding what is "unusual" very difficult. The idea that we have to figure what is "normal everyday pain" makes me want to crawl into bed and cry myself into a coma. And sometimes even her "normal" pain will present itself in a way that throws us off. And I have wonder if this flare was set off by what was supposed to be a fun family outing. Is 1 day of fun worth a week of her being miserable?
And now I'm feeling super guilty about telling Ryan to relax when he got upset about 3 weeks ago. We had decided to run errands together, get everybody out of the house. We just planned to go to Target and Winco. But, as soon as we started to get ready to go out, Mickey got cranky. Her temp went up and she was grumpy and easily irritated or upset. By the time we got to Target, she had completely shut down on us. She is sensitive to the bright overhead light and loud noises (since it was pretty crowded, it was very noisy), it sets off what I can only describe as an anxiety like panic attack, which flares up her Fibro . She was flushed, warm to the touch and was complaining of a headache behind her left eye. She used my jacket as a blanket and spent the whole time there looking pretty damn miserable. Ryan also has some mild anxiety in overly crowded places, so the two them were just making each more uncomfortable. I asked him to take us home so that I could put her down for nap and then he could go to Winco alone. He was understandably upset about the change in plans, especially since lately it seems like we're always changing SOMETHING because of how Mickey is feeling. I tried to tell him "this is just how it is. Sometimes she'll do well, sometimes she won't. Unless we want to go back to not taking her anywhere, we just have to learn to adjust to it." Now I'm attempting to tell myself the same thing. We have to learn to be incredibly flexable and to accept that sometimes plans will have to be adjusted or even cancelled all together.
I would love to say it's easy. That we are all incedibly understanding and accommadating. But it's hard. It's hard damn near everyday. Even the good days can have a gray cloud of "how long will it last" hovering overhead. I do my best to stay positive, to be the "strong one". But I don't always succeed. I admit that my new favorite spot to tear up a little is when I'm by myself in the sauna at the gym. For a short time I'm all alone, no one around to be strong for, no one to see me be weak and pathetic. People tell me how wonderful I am, what a good Mom I'm being, how strong and "together" I must be. I'M NOT! I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing and while I do a good job (most of the time) of putting out a positive attitude, inside I feel anything but. I'm scared, sad, angry, resentful and often I feel like a total failure. But I'll put on my smile and struggle through it. "Fake it till you make it", right?
Hopefully things will be better once we move. The dryer, warmer climite could help her symptoms a lot. And it will be nice to be near friends and family. To have some help when we are both feeling overwhelmed. To have friends that are caring and understanding that sometimes plans may need to be adjusted, rescheduled or cancelled. To have more people around me so that the job of providing comfort and adult interaction does not all fall onto my husband. To have more time to spend "just the two of us" and more time to spend apart ;) (don't get me wrong, I love my hubby dearly, but sometimes you need to do fun stuff APART and we don't really get much of that).
Learning to adjust! She decided she didn't want to wear her costume because i was too cold. But she was still my cute little bug!
The stomach pain really had us worried earlier this week. Usually her pain is located around her belly button and is fairly mild (I figure it's probably usually gas, but because of her sensitivity to pain it feels uncomfortable). She doesn't complain too much. She'll tell me it hurts and then move on. But on Monday she was complaining about it hurting alot and also was saying that her right hip hurt. I didn't think much of it, figured it was just joint pain from all the wet weather we've been having. But her appetite was weird. She didn't even want to eat her favorite dinner. Tuesday morning she still had the pain and a low grade fever. I asked her to show me where her hip hurt. Turns out it was actually her abdomen that hurt, just above the right hip. So I pressed on it and she was almost instantly in tears. CRAP!
So now I'm losing it a bit. Of course my first thought was appendicitis. It would be most parents first thought when their child presents with low grade fever and intense pain in the right lower quadrant of the abdomen. But now I'm conflicted. She will usually run low grade fevers with a bad flare and she has some kind of abdominal discomfort every day. So what do I do? Is this unusual enough to warrant an ER trip or am I simply overreacting to a bad flare?
Well, long story short- I asked hubby to come home early and we spent 2+ hours at our clinic's urgent care. Blood test did not show any infection, so no ER. Thank goodness! But now I sit back and think "This is it. This is my life". My daughter has a chronic condition and it will always make deciding what is "unusual" very difficult. The idea that we have to figure what is "normal everyday pain" makes me want to crawl into bed and cry myself into a coma. And sometimes even her "normal" pain will present itself in a way that throws us off. And I have wonder if this flare was set off by what was supposed to be a fun family outing. Is 1 day of fun worth a week of her being miserable?
And now I'm feeling super guilty about telling Ryan to relax when he got upset about 3 weeks ago. We had decided to run errands together, get everybody out of the house. We just planned to go to Target and Winco. But, as soon as we started to get ready to go out, Mickey got cranky. Her temp went up and she was grumpy and easily irritated or upset. By the time we got to Target, she had completely shut down on us. She is sensitive to the bright overhead light and loud noises (since it was pretty crowded, it was very noisy), it sets off what I can only describe as an anxiety like panic attack, which flares up her Fibro . She was flushed, warm to the touch and was complaining of a headache behind her left eye. She used my jacket as a blanket and spent the whole time there looking pretty damn miserable. Ryan also has some mild anxiety in overly crowded places, so the two them were just making each more uncomfortable. I asked him to take us home so that I could put her down for nap and then he could go to Winco alone. He was understandably upset about the change in plans, especially since lately it seems like we're always changing SOMETHING because of how Mickey is feeling. I tried to tell him "this is just how it is. Sometimes she'll do well, sometimes she won't. Unless we want to go back to not taking her anywhere, we just have to learn to adjust to it." Now I'm attempting to tell myself the same thing. We have to learn to be incredibly flexable and to accept that sometimes plans will have to be adjusted or even cancelled all together.
I would love to say it's easy. That we are all incedibly understanding and accommadating. But it's hard. It's hard damn near everyday. Even the good days can have a gray cloud of "how long will it last" hovering overhead. I do my best to stay positive, to be the "strong one". But I don't always succeed. I admit that my new favorite spot to tear up a little is when I'm by myself in the sauna at the gym. For a short time I'm all alone, no one around to be strong for, no one to see me be weak and pathetic. People tell me how wonderful I am, what a good Mom I'm being, how strong and "together" I must be. I'M NOT! I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing and while I do a good job (most of the time) of putting out a positive attitude, inside I feel anything but. I'm scared, sad, angry, resentful and often I feel like a total failure. But I'll put on my smile and struggle through it. "Fake it till you make it", right?
Hopefully things will be better once we move. The dryer, warmer climite could help her symptoms a lot. And it will be nice to be near friends and family. To have some help when we are both feeling overwhelmed. To have friends that are caring and understanding that sometimes plans may need to be adjusted, rescheduled or cancelled. To have more people around me so that the job of providing comfort and adult interaction does not all fall onto my husband. To have more time to spend "just the two of us" and more time to spend apart ;) (don't get me wrong, I love my hubby dearly, but sometimes you need to do fun stuff APART and we don't really get much of that).
How could you not just love this face! This was back when her Fibro was just starting to get really bad, before we had to cut her hair super short because of her headaches.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
'Tis The Season
Today is Thanksgiving and the official start to the holiday season. I always miss my family and friends more during this time of year, but today is even harder. Today it looks like I'm spending the day without my husband :(. At 7:30 this morning, he woke me up to tell me he had to go in to work. Some pipes froze and burst in one of the buildings at his property (stupid freezing temperatures!). It's now almost noon and we still have no idea when he'll be home. The last I heard from him was a text around 11 to say things weren't going well and he would call me later. Not good. It comes with the job. He is the manager after all and when emergencies happen, he must go. I'm totally supportive of this, but it sucks that it happened today!
So since he's not here and I'm not curled up on the couch in his arms, watching the kids play, I'm instead here.... blogging...
Perhaps this is good time to focus on all the things I'm thankful for :)-
So since he's not here and I'm not curled up on the couch in his arms, watching the kids play, I'm instead here.... blogging...
Perhaps this is good time to focus on all the things I'm thankful for :)-
- My children. They drive me bonkers. They wear me out. And I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world!
- My husband. He knows me, he gets me. He can tell what I'm feeling just by looking at me. He surprises me with little thoughtful gifts. He works hard for our family so that I can stay home. He is amazingly supportive and incredibly loving. He is a generous lover, a fantastic father and one of my dearest friends.
- For a good home in a good neighborhood. I can send Amee out to play with the other kids and not worry about being out there to watch every move.
- My friends. They are all awesome in their own ways. Supportive and caring. Over the years they have become like family.
- My family. They push me to the point of insanity, but I am still thankful for them (when the drama is minimal lol).
- Apryl, my younger sister. When we were kids, we didn't really get along. Being 6 years apart, we just didn't have that much in common. Now that we are adults, we have become close friends. I am extremely proud of her and all that she has accomplished.
- Food. I am very thanful to be able to have and cook nutritious meals everyday.
- The gym. My new boyfriend lol. Sometimes I feel like I spend more time there than I do with my husband ;). Along with this, I am very thankful for my trainers who are helping me to become healthier.
- That I learned how to cook when I was a teenager. I think everyone should learn at least the basics, but you'd be surprised how many people can't cook. They rely on mostly frozen dinner, boxed dinners or take out. Such a terrible diet :(. I am very thankful to my stepmom, Shannon, for making sure I learned at least the basics.
- My Furr-babies. I love my kitties. Sure they drive me nuts when they run across me at 4am, but I love them anyway lol.
- Bellydancing. It makes me feel sensual and femine (and it's helping me lose weight).
- Sex! I am extremely thankful for sex ;). Nothing fixes a rotten day faster or relieves stress better!
- My life in general. It's very difficult and stressful at times. Raising a child with a chronic condition is never easy. But I know it could easily be worse and I am grateful everyday for the love that fills my life everyday.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Snow And A Broken TV
This weekend was quite the little adventure. Snow watch at our house started Saturday night, but much to the girls dissapointment, not even a speck fell. In an effort to beat the bad weather, we ran out to Target for some gloves and other minor supplies and then Hubby ran out to Winco and QFC for groceries. Unfortunately he forgot a few things and planned to head out Sunday morning to get them (hoping to beat the snow). It actually began to lightly snow as he was at the store. But then DRAMA! I got up and went to turn the tv on.... Nothing..... No picture at all. I got sound, but no picture. I couldn't even pull up the menu to see if the pictures adjustments had someone gone crazy. Hubby got home and checked all the wires. Still nothing except for hints of deep red in blackness if you bumped the tv just right. Our tv, which we had only had for maybe 2 years, had croaked on us. Oh joy!
I will admit that I rely quite a bit on our tv. In the morning, cartoons help distract Mickey from morning pain and stiffness. In the afternoon I use it for my workouts. Going without would just plain SUCK! So, even with the snow starting to come down harder, Hubby went back out to Target to get a new one. Thankfully the snow only left a light dusting that melted almost instantly, so the roads were still safe. Now we have a pretty new tv. My first HD flat screen. Nothing too expensive, didn't want to break the bank, plus we have a fairly small living room. It was a lot sooner than we planned on buying one, but oh well, life marches on.
Today it's still snowing on and off. Nothing too terrible, we have not even accumulated 1/4 of inch yet, although I have heard some nearby areas have already gotten an inch. See, we live in the weird area called a "convergent zone". Here the weather swirls around in an odd and often unpredictable pattern. Sometimes weather gets trapped outside this swirling and we end up with a milder version than everyone else. Other times the weather gets trapped in the swirling and we end up with more severe weather. Mickey is enjoying pressing her nose to the window everytime the snow starts to fall. I'm trying hard to keep her and the apartment warm, hoping to keep her pain and stiffness to a minimum. That can be hard to do when it's 26 degrees outside. And with this cold, my anxiety level goes up. Because it's below freezing, the snow is sticking, making the road ways icy and slick. I will definitely feel better once Amee is home from school and hubby is home from work.
I will admit that I rely quite a bit on our tv. In the morning, cartoons help distract Mickey from morning pain and stiffness. In the afternoon I use it for my workouts. Going without would just plain SUCK! So, even with the snow starting to come down harder, Hubby went back out to Target to get a new one. Thankfully the snow only left a light dusting that melted almost instantly, so the roads were still safe. Now we have a pretty new tv. My first HD flat screen. Nothing too expensive, didn't want to break the bank, plus we have a fairly small living room. It was a lot sooner than we planned on buying one, but oh well, life marches on.
Today it's still snowing on and off. Nothing too terrible, we have not even accumulated 1/4 of inch yet, although I have heard some nearby areas have already gotten an inch. See, we live in the weird area called a "convergent zone". Here the weather swirls around in an odd and often unpredictable pattern. Sometimes weather gets trapped outside this swirling and we end up with a milder version than everyone else. Other times the weather gets trapped in the swirling and we end up with more severe weather. Mickey is enjoying pressing her nose to the window everytime the snow starts to fall. I'm trying hard to keep her and the apartment warm, hoping to keep her pain and stiffness to a minimum. That can be hard to do when it's 26 degrees outside. And with this cold, my anxiety level goes up. Because it's below freezing, the snow is sticking, making the road ways icy and slick. I will definitely feel better once Amee is home from school and hubby is home from work.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Oh there you are Perry...
*singing* My nemma, nemma. My nemesis. My nemma nemma. My nemesis.
Okay, I'm done, you can uncover your ears lol. Yes I know, I watch way too much Phineas and Ferb. Can you blame me!?! It's one of the best cartoons with oddly shaped characters to come out in a long time :). "Whatcha doing?", "I know what we're going to do today" and calling anyone that makes a bonehead decision a "Doofenshmirtz" are pretty common place around here.
We all have a nemesis. That consistant villian that always pop ups, pulling out our inner secret agent in an effort to defeat the evil. Mine is my weight. Every day I battle this demon in an effort to improve my health and quality of life. I work out everyday, eat healthy, take vitamins and still my weight can be quite stubborn. Sometimes we need a little help.
Enter- my secret agent. If my weight is my very own Dr. Doofenshmirtz, then I think I may have just found my Perry the Platapus :).
I'm not big on "diet pills". For the most part, 99% of them are crappy scams. I've tried several and usually I got 1 of 2 results- (1) They didn't work, plain and simple; (2) They gave me the jitters so damn bad I could hardly do anything due to the shaking (I also have non-life threating heart palpitations and a lot of those pills would set my heart off like crazy). Plus I hate not knowing exactly what I'm putting in my body. Most of these pills will list their ingredients, but they don't tell you how much is in there or they just call it a "blend". Now your popping a pill without knowing exactly what it is. So when one of my trainers (who also happens to be my nutritionist) recommended I try a product, I was very skeptical. But he's a great trainer (all the ones I've worked with so far have been) and he's never steared me in the wrong direction before.
The products are by Advocare. He told me all about them, including all the ones that he, his girlfriend and adult daughter take. So I checked out the website. It had alot of the stuff I was expecting- lots of raving reviews from clients, endorsements from top athletes (including olympic participants) and some "history" on how and why the product was developed. Typical stuff. The first thing that drew my attention to it was that the website doesn't come off as "pushy". No, "take our product or you'll never ever reach your fitness goals." Compared to other sites, it's simple, well done and to the point. What I really like is that all the products list ALL their ingredients, including how much of the ingredient is in there. For someone like me, who likes to track exactly what I'm taking (so I know what's working and what's not and when and what need to be increased or decreased) this is a HUGE plus. And the prices were not way over the top. They are by no means the cheapest line of products I've ever seen, but they are not even close to the most expensive either. I'm a big believer in that if you buy "cheap" products than that is exactly what you are going to receive. So I have no problems paying a bit more for quality as long as I can see that better quality is what I'm actually getting. That's why I like how honest Advocare is. By putting every ingredient on the label INCLUDING how must of it is in there, you know exactly what you are getting.
Now of course they encourage you to buy a large range of their products, what company wouldn't. But like I said before they aren't pushy about it. My trainer (he and his girlfriend are "distributors") are not pushy either. He encouraged me to try one or two products at first and then if I liked them, then I could add to it. Or not. Totally laid back about it, which I like. Nothing pushes me away from a product faster than a pushy salesman. I explained to him that I didn't want to blow a bunch of money on this, after all I'm already paying for a gym membership and training, but I was definitely getting super frustrated with my extremely slow progress. So he recommended trying 2 of the products- the 10 day cleanse and Thermoplus (to help my stagnant metabolism). The total for both, with shipping, was about $70 (that's the price of just one bottle of some of these bogus "miracle" diet pills). Since I'm already on a steady workout regiment and have a very healthy diet, he figured these two products would be the best for me at this time.
So after talking to hubby about it, I decided to try it. If I hated it, then I was only out the $70 dollars, so why not. I've definitely justified more expensive crap in the past for the same reason. I started the 10 cleanse. It natural, safe and very gentle (no rushes to bathroom lol). In fact, because I eat so healthy anyway, I really didn't feel much change. The amount of fiber in it did make me gain 2 pounds. That irritated me, but I found out other had the same issue. It was only 10 days, so I stuck with it. The cleanse has some good natural detox stuff, which helps your body start to push out some of that junk that can accumulate in your fat, making the fat burning later a little easier and safer (since you have now limited the amount of stored up toxins being released). It also has a really good probiotic in it. I LOVE probiotics and I'm real big on taking them. I will admit, this is one of the better ones I've found in a long time. The probiotics help repair any damage to your digestive system by restoring good bacteria, making absorbtion of essential vitamins and minerals more effective.
After the cleanse I started the Thermoplus. Now this is the pill that my trainer raved about the most. He's not big on "diet pills" either, but he said he saw some real changes in his clients that took it. Again, I was super skeptical at first, but I thought why not. First thing I liked, they keep it simple. There are only 5 ingredients. That's it! Not a huge laundry list of junk I can't pronounce, just 5 simple ingredients. And just like everything else, they tell you how much of each ingredient is in there. So I started taking it about a week ago and already I've seen a huge change. I've lost 3 pounds (puting my total weight loss to date at 18 pounds)! That's amazing for me!!! They don't make me jittery at all, in fact I can still take my B-complex vitamin and have my coffee and still no palpitations or shakey shakies. I do feel the boost in energy, but not in a bad "bouncing off the walls" way. I mostly feel it during my workouts and in the evening, when I usually start to feel blah and sluggish. I've also noticed that when I do a good intense workout, it doesn't wear me down as bad as it used to. At the same time, it doesn't make me feel like super woman, so I don't push myself so hard that I end up hurt. It just seems to take the edge off that post workout fatigue. Only time will tell if Thermoplus will continue to be my saving grace, but for now, the help from it is most welcome. I don't consider it to be a "miracle" pill (although that is something I've heard others refer to as). I work my butt off everyday! I just got tired of working so hard and feeling like I was just being constantly pushed back. This has helped me defeat the platuea I was stuck on for almost 2 months and has given more confidence to continue my journey to a healthier me.
So if weight and fat are my Doofenshmirtz then Thermoplus is my Perry (and I guess that would make Advocare the agency lol). I am proud of what I have accomplished so far and of how hard I have worked and I am not ashamed at all to admit I needed a little help. Sometimes we all do. Some get help through surgery or from a prescription. Some only need a trainer. And then there are those that don't need anything but a gym. I need a little extra help and I've learned that that is okay.
SIDE NOTE- I have the most amazing and supportive husband and friends! They have been there for me since day one, showing love and encouragement. They also are sure to remind me that I am beautiful and check in with me to make sure I'm doing this in a safe and healthy way. This is so so so very important to being successful with weight loss. I want to let you guys know that I do not have unrealistic expectations. I have no desire to be a size 6 or smaller (if it does happen, it will simply be because I will be lean and healthy, I have no desire to look like a skeleton). In fact, it doesn't even bother me if I never reach the single digit sizes at all. I would be perfectly happy in some size 10 jeans :). I am doing this for my health (obesity related illnesses run high in my family) and because I want to have the energy and ability to be the absolutely best mom and wife possible. Having a child with a chronic illness means that sometimes I need to be the strong one. I need to be healthy and strong, so that I can take care of my family. Thank to everyone for your love and support. You guys are my rock and I really don't know what I would do without you! Love and hugs all around!!!
Okay, I'm done, you can uncover your ears lol. Yes I know, I watch way too much Phineas and Ferb. Can you blame me!?! It's one of the best cartoons with oddly shaped characters to come out in a long time :). "Whatcha doing?", "I know what we're going to do today" and calling anyone that makes a bonehead decision a "Doofenshmirtz" are pretty common place around here.
We all have a nemesis. That consistant villian that always pop ups, pulling out our inner secret agent in an effort to defeat the evil. Mine is my weight. Every day I battle this demon in an effort to improve my health and quality of life. I work out everyday, eat healthy, take vitamins and still my weight can be quite stubborn. Sometimes we need a little help.
Enter- my secret agent. If my weight is my very own Dr. Doofenshmirtz, then I think I may have just found my Perry the Platapus :).
I'm not big on "diet pills". For the most part, 99% of them are crappy scams. I've tried several and usually I got 1 of 2 results- (1) They didn't work, plain and simple; (2) They gave me the jitters so damn bad I could hardly do anything due to the shaking (I also have non-life threating heart palpitations and a lot of those pills would set my heart off like crazy). Plus I hate not knowing exactly what I'm putting in my body. Most of these pills will list their ingredients, but they don't tell you how much is in there or they just call it a "blend". Now your popping a pill without knowing exactly what it is. So when one of my trainers (who also happens to be my nutritionist) recommended I try a product, I was very skeptical. But he's a great trainer (all the ones I've worked with so far have been) and he's never steared me in the wrong direction before.
The products are by Advocare. He told me all about them, including all the ones that he, his girlfriend and adult daughter take. So I checked out the website. It had alot of the stuff I was expecting- lots of raving reviews from clients, endorsements from top athletes (including olympic participants) and some "history" on how and why the product was developed. Typical stuff. The first thing that drew my attention to it was that the website doesn't come off as "pushy". No, "take our product or you'll never ever reach your fitness goals." Compared to other sites, it's simple, well done and to the point. What I really like is that all the products list ALL their ingredients, including how much of the ingredient is in there. For someone like me, who likes to track exactly what I'm taking (so I know what's working and what's not and when and what need to be increased or decreased) this is a HUGE plus. And the prices were not way over the top. They are by no means the cheapest line of products I've ever seen, but they are not even close to the most expensive either. I'm a big believer in that if you buy "cheap" products than that is exactly what you are going to receive. So I have no problems paying a bit more for quality as long as I can see that better quality is what I'm actually getting. That's why I like how honest Advocare is. By putting every ingredient on the label INCLUDING how must of it is in there, you know exactly what you are getting.
Now of course they encourage you to buy a large range of their products, what company wouldn't. But like I said before they aren't pushy about it. My trainer (he and his girlfriend are "distributors") are not pushy either. He encouraged me to try one or two products at first and then if I liked them, then I could add to it. Or not. Totally laid back about it, which I like. Nothing pushes me away from a product faster than a pushy salesman. I explained to him that I didn't want to blow a bunch of money on this, after all I'm already paying for a gym membership and training, but I was definitely getting super frustrated with my extremely slow progress. So he recommended trying 2 of the products- the 10 day cleanse and Thermoplus (to help my stagnant metabolism). The total for both, with shipping, was about $70 (that's the price of just one bottle of some of these bogus "miracle" diet pills). Since I'm already on a steady workout regiment and have a very healthy diet, he figured these two products would be the best for me at this time.
So after talking to hubby about it, I decided to try it. If I hated it, then I was only out the $70 dollars, so why not. I've definitely justified more expensive crap in the past for the same reason. I started the 10 cleanse. It natural, safe and very gentle (no rushes to bathroom lol). In fact, because I eat so healthy anyway, I really didn't feel much change. The amount of fiber in it did make me gain 2 pounds. That irritated me, but I found out other had the same issue. It was only 10 days, so I stuck with it. The cleanse has some good natural detox stuff, which helps your body start to push out some of that junk that can accumulate in your fat, making the fat burning later a little easier and safer (since you have now limited the amount of stored up toxins being released). It also has a really good probiotic in it. I LOVE probiotics and I'm real big on taking them. I will admit, this is one of the better ones I've found in a long time. The probiotics help repair any damage to your digestive system by restoring good bacteria, making absorbtion of essential vitamins and minerals more effective.
After the cleanse I started the Thermoplus. Now this is the pill that my trainer raved about the most. He's not big on "diet pills" either, but he said he saw some real changes in his clients that took it. Again, I was super skeptical at first, but I thought why not. First thing I liked, they keep it simple. There are only 5 ingredients. That's it! Not a huge laundry list of junk I can't pronounce, just 5 simple ingredients. And just like everything else, they tell you how much of each ingredient is in there. So I started taking it about a week ago and already I've seen a huge change. I've lost 3 pounds (puting my total weight loss to date at 18 pounds)! That's amazing for me!!! They don't make me jittery at all, in fact I can still take my B-complex vitamin and have my coffee and still no palpitations or shakey shakies. I do feel the boost in energy, but not in a bad "bouncing off the walls" way. I mostly feel it during my workouts and in the evening, when I usually start to feel blah and sluggish. I've also noticed that when I do a good intense workout, it doesn't wear me down as bad as it used to. At the same time, it doesn't make me feel like super woman, so I don't push myself so hard that I end up hurt. It just seems to take the edge off that post workout fatigue. Only time will tell if Thermoplus will continue to be my saving grace, but for now, the help from it is most welcome. I don't consider it to be a "miracle" pill (although that is something I've heard others refer to as). I work my butt off everyday! I just got tired of working so hard and feeling like I was just being constantly pushed back. This has helped me defeat the platuea I was stuck on for almost 2 months and has given more confidence to continue my journey to a healthier me.
So if weight and fat are my Doofenshmirtz then Thermoplus is my Perry (and I guess that would make Advocare the agency lol). I am proud of what I have accomplished so far and of how hard I have worked and I am not ashamed at all to admit I needed a little help. Sometimes we all do. Some get help through surgery or from a prescription. Some only need a trainer. And then there are those that don't need anything but a gym. I need a little extra help and I've learned that that is okay.
SIDE NOTE- I have the most amazing and supportive husband and friends! They have been there for me since day one, showing love and encouragement. They also are sure to remind me that I am beautiful and check in with me to make sure I'm doing this in a safe and healthy way. This is so so so very important to being successful with weight loss. I want to let you guys know that I do not have unrealistic expectations. I have no desire to be a size 6 or smaller (if it does happen, it will simply be because I will be lean and healthy, I have no desire to look like a skeleton). In fact, it doesn't even bother me if I never reach the single digit sizes at all. I would be perfectly happy in some size 10 jeans :). I am doing this for my health (obesity related illnesses run high in my family) and because I want to have the energy and ability to be the absolutely best mom and wife possible. Having a child with a chronic illness means that sometimes I need to be the strong one. I need to be healthy and strong, so that I can take care of my family. Thank to everyone for your love and support. You guys are my rock and I really don't know what I would do without you! Love and hugs all around!!!
Friday, November 12, 2010
Blah, Blah, Effing Blah
Ya, I forgot about the blog again. No big surprise there! It's just been a bit hectic. I'm battling the weight loss demon in an everlasting pushing-the-boulder-uphill disaster. Actually, if I was in fact pushing a boulder uphill, I would probably drop the weight a lot faster. It's a major struggle for me. I eat really well, no junk food (haven't had a french fry in months), lots of fresh fruits and veggies, low cal smoothies, well balanced meals, working out 6 or 7 days a week ( 60-90 minutes of cardio everyday and 30-60 minutes of circuit/weight training at least 3 days a week) and I'm still getting no where fast.
Mickey has been an absolute handful lately. She has gone back to fighting me on the naps and not sleeping well at night. She was doing so well for awhile, but ever since Halloween, she's been a walking nightmare. I fight with her all afternoon trying to get her to go to sleep, then she's restless all night because she didn't get as much activity. If I do let her up without her actually sleeping, she is irritable and defiant and by 5 or 6 o'clock, complete melt-down. I'm at my witts end and about ready to pull my hair out. I'm back to crying everyday because I just don't know how to help her and she is wearing me down. I'm finding it hard to concentrate on my workouts because I'm constantly thinking about having to go back home and deal with her all over again. And then the next day she wakes up cranky and usually with a fever, because she's just not getting enough sleep and we go through the cycle all over again.
And then there is all the home stuff to do. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, all the fun stuff that piles up day after day. It's never ending. I am thankful to have a wonderful husband that helps me out when he can, but M-F, it's pretty much all me and when you pile this on top of dealing with Mickey and still making sure I make time for Amee, it's pretty freaking exhausting (and of course, I don't sleep much, so that just slaps on another layer).
I know I'm pretty much whining at this point, but I've got to get it off my chest somehow. I'm tired of being fat, feeling like a failure, feeling tired, overworked and under-appreciated, feeling helpless and sometimes down-right lonely. But life marches on, although sometimes it feels it's marching right across your back.
Mickey has been an absolute handful lately. She has gone back to fighting me on the naps and not sleeping well at night. She was doing so well for awhile, but ever since Halloween, she's been a walking nightmare. I fight with her all afternoon trying to get her to go to sleep, then she's restless all night because she didn't get as much activity. If I do let her up without her actually sleeping, she is irritable and defiant and by 5 or 6 o'clock, complete melt-down. I'm at my witts end and about ready to pull my hair out. I'm back to crying everyday because I just don't know how to help her and she is wearing me down. I'm finding it hard to concentrate on my workouts because I'm constantly thinking about having to go back home and deal with her all over again. And then the next day she wakes up cranky and usually with a fever, because she's just not getting enough sleep and we go through the cycle all over again.
And then there is all the home stuff to do. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, all the fun stuff that piles up day after day. It's never ending. I am thankful to have a wonderful husband that helps me out when he can, but M-F, it's pretty much all me and when you pile this on top of dealing with Mickey and still making sure I make time for Amee, it's pretty freaking exhausting (and of course, I don't sleep much, so that just slaps on another layer).
I know I'm pretty much whining at this point, but I've got to get it off my chest somehow. I'm tired of being fat, feeling like a failure, feeling tired, overworked and under-appreciated, feeling helpless and sometimes down-right lonely. But life marches on, although sometimes it feels it's marching right across your back.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Oops!
I forgot about my blog for a few days, lol. I swear sometimes my daughter's Fibro Fog transfers over to me. Somedays I feel lucky just to remember what my name is. My life is consumed by the needs of others. Not exactly what I dreamed about as a little girl. I've always put the needs and wants of other before my own. Old habits are hard to break. At least I've learned to take a couple of hours for myself. The gym has become my hide away, my escape. My favorite time is the 15-20 minutes I spend in the sauna. I put on my music (usually the Evanescence, sometimes the soundtrack to Alice in Wonderland; I like dark music), turn off the light, lay down, close my eyes and let myself drift into the peaceful darkness of my mind. Sometimes I think about my friends, wishing I was with them, other times I drift down memory lane and occasionally I just let my mind go blank, but thats hard to do.
It's not that I don't like my life, I'm very happy with it. I have a wonderful husband, who has a good job. I have two beautiful little girls. My friends are wonderful and my family is at least tolerable most of the time. After 20 years of my sister and I barely getting along and not having much in common, we are now close. I have a lot of good things in my life and in general, I am a happy bubbly person. But there are times, especially when I lay in bed and my thoughts travel into the realm of woulda-shoulda-coulda, I think- how did I get here. How did the young ambitious girl who dreamed of traveling the world as a marine biologist, become a stay-at-home-mom (with no career to even fall back on). What's that saying? "Life is what happens when you're busy making plans." NO KIDDING!
It's not that I don't like my life, I'm very happy with it. I have a wonderful husband, who has a good job. I have two beautiful little girls. My friends are wonderful and my family is at least tolerable most of the time. After 20 years of my sister and I barely getting along and not having much in common, we are now close. I have a lot of good things in my life and in general, I am a happy bubbly person. But there are times, especially when I lay in bed and my thoughts travel into the realm of woulda-shoulda-coulda, I think- how did I get here. How did the young ambitious girl who dreamed of traveling the world as a marine biologist, become a stay-at-home-mom (with no career to even fall back on). What's that saying? "Life is what happens when you're busy making plans." NO KIDDING!
Friday, October 29, 2010
FOOD!
I'm sitting here, 11:30 at night, smelling the chocolate cake I made for Amee that is cooling. So I thought, hey a blog about CAKE!!!! No just kidding. This is actually about food and my battle to overcome it.
As a kid and teenager, I was able to eat anything I wanted and still remained slender. I never learned how to eat properly. When I became an adult I started to realize this (especially after gaining so much weight with Amee). I didn't think I ate that bad, but really I was lying to myself. So here is how I overcame food, maybe it will help someone else :)
1. Stop lying to yourself! So very important, especially when trying to track calories, sugar, sodium, fat, etc. Be totally honest and think about everything you put in your mouth. Don't slam a handful of cookies and then tell yourself you have no idea why you can't lose weight. Get rid of the junk and start buying more produce. Try new things, find what you like (and get some really good, healthy, low cal dressings, trust me they will save your sanity).
2. Don't rationalize the junk. 3 things to ask yourself before you decide on that Big Mac and fries. Do you want it? Do you need? Can you live without it?
-If you want it, ask yourself why, then see if there is a healthier alternative (even if it means just cutting out the fries or swapping them for apples w/ carmel)
-Chances are you don't need it. If your hungry, eat, but make it good. If you're going splurge, make sure it is just a splurge and not a binge.
-You need food to live, but you don't need junk food to live.
3. Keep a food journal. I kept a mental one, but some may find it helpful to write it down. Write down every single thing you eat, then record how it makes you feel. Do you feel bloated, irritated, tired? Do you feel full or stuffed? Are you hungry again in 30-60 minutes? Write it all down and evaluate what is working and what isn't.
4. "I can't live without my carbs" I used to say this too. You CAN live without your carbs, but you're addicted. Break the addiction. Go 2 weeks with no carbs (or at least no wheat) and see how you feel. I'm not saying you can never have carbs, but you can be smart about it. I still eat bread sometimes and we have pasta sometimes 2-4 times a month. I don't count carbs at all, doesn't even cross my mind, but I don't make them a main staple either. You CAN live without carbs, trust me :).
5. "I don't like (insert healthy food here)". Totally understand. I don't like fish, unless it's bear battered, fried and served with tarter sauce. But don't make the assumption that you don't like certain foods right away. Detox the junk, then start trying new stuff again. Research on how to pick produce and try it several times (it can take up to 7 times to learn to like something). Once you clean out your system and your tastebuds have a chance to repair themselves, you may be surprised just how different everything taste.
6. Splurge! Find some healthy alternatives for the worst of your forbidden treats and allow yourself to have some others that aren't so bad (my indulgence is sugar free pudding and sugar free apple cider). Let yourself have treats. If you constantly deny yourself, you are setting yourself up for some serious binging later. Just remember, a splurge should be one meal or one snack, not the whole day (that is binge-ing, so is "splurging" everyday).
7. Do your research. I recommend reading the Eat This, Not That books and articles. They helped me so much. It's a huge wake up call when you find out that dinner out was equal to eating 10 Big Macs. They also give you healthier options and ways to order some of your favorites in a healthy way. I can't even think about Cheesecake Factory without gagging a little now.
8. Read the labels. The whole thing! From Calories down to ingredients. If you don't know what the ingredients are, look them up (you'd be surprised how many different names there are for sugar and wheat). Also pay careful attention to serving sizes. A lot of companies try to make themselves look better by putting ridiculously small serving suggestions on the label.
9. If you didn't make it, don't trust it and all salads are not created equal. Basically, be careful of "healthy" sounding foods (like salad) that are loaded with as many calories as massive binge fest at Burger King. A lot of your favorite restaurant recipes can be made at home for less money and less trauma to your waistline. Also be aware of the "healthy" sounding stuff you may have at home that could damage your efforts. Again, read the labels. Does that granola bar really sound healthy with 20+ grams of sugar. Trade it for a plain yogurt (sweeten with Stevia or your own favorite sweetner, just not sugar) with low fat low sugar granola. Or have a smoothie. Smoothies made at home are wonderful for you (and they taste indulgent). And be very careful with dried fruits. A lot of them have added sugar and chemicals and think about this - how many grapes does that handful of raisins equal? It would be better just to have the grapes.
10. Move. Workout, dance with your kids, chase them down the hall, walk to the mailbox, park far away from entrances, etc. Just get up and start moving. If you feeling tired, try a workout and see how you feel afterwards. Don't push yourself to hard in the beginning, you don't want to injure yourself.
11. Getting upset is okay, just don't give up. I have had days where I come home from the gym and cried, but I keep going. I know what I'm doing is going to help me in the long run. Take your time. Results don't happen over night. Don't be too hard on yourself. Losing weight is hard and there are going to be speed bumps along the way.
12. Don't crash/fad diet. They don't work! The ones that do are only temporary. Once you go back to your old eating habits, the weight will come back. Change your lifestyle and the way you eat. You don't need to starve to lose weight. In fact, I eat every 2-4 hours (and good stuff too, no rice cakes or cabbage soup for me).
13. The most important one, at least for me. Get a good support group. Whether it's friends, family, a trainer, a weight loss group, etc., just get the support you need. People that will encourage you, but be tough enough to keep you on track.
14. Drink water! Extremely important. Cut out the soda too. I know it's hard. It took me about 2 weeks before I stopped having the "Man I could really go for a soda" urges. You can do it and you will feel better. Don't like water? Try getting filters for you tap, buying flavor pouches or bottles flavored water. Just get more H2O into your system. You're body will thank you!
Well, I know there is more, but now I'm ready for bed. Good luck and remember, beauty comes from within too.
As a kid and teenager, I was able to eat anything I wanted and still remained slender. I never learned how to eat properly. When I became an adult I started to realize this (especially after gaining so much weight with Amee). I didn't think I ate that bad, but really I was lying to myself. So here is how I overcame food, maybe it will help someone else :)
1. Stop lying to yourself! So very important, especially when trying to track calories, sugar, sodium, fat, etc. Be totally honest and think about everything you put in your mouth. Don't slam a handful of cookies and then tell yourself you have no idea why you can't lose weight. Get rid of the junk and start buying more produce. Try new things, find what you like (and get some really good, healthy, low cal dressings, trust me they will save your sanity).
2. Don't rationalize the junk. 3 things to ask yourself before you decide on that Big Mac and fries. Do you want it? Do you need? Can you live without it?
-If you want it, ask yourself why, then see if there is a healthier alternative (even if it means just cutting out the fries or swapping them for apples w/ carmel)
-Chances are you don't need it. If your hungry, eat, but make it good. If you're going splurge, make sure it is just a splurge and not a binge.
-You need food to live, but you don't need junk food to live.
3. Keep a food journal. I kept a mental one, but some may find it helpful to write it down. Write down every single thing you eat, then record how it makes you feel. Do you feel bloated, irritated, tired? Do you feel full or stuffed? Are you hungry again in 30-60 minutes? Write it all down and evaluate what is working and what isn't.
4. "I can't live without my carbs" I used to say this too. You CAN live without your carbs, but you're addicted. Break the addiction. Go 2 weeks with no carbs (or at least no wheat) and see how you feel. I'm not saying you can never have carbs, but you can be smart about it. I still eat bread sometimes and we have pasta sometimes 2-4 times a month. I don't count carbs at all, doesn't even cross my mind, but I don't make them a main staple either. You CAN live without carbs, trust me :).
5. "I don't like (insert healthy food here)". Totally understand. I don't like fish, unless it's bear battered, fried and served with tarter sauce. But don't make the assumption that you don't like certain foods right away. Detox the junk, then start trying new stuff again. Research on how to pick produce and try it several times (it can take up to 7 times to learn to like something). Once you clean out your system and your tastebuds have a chance to repair themselves, you may be surprised just how different everything taste.
6. Splurge! Find some healthy alternatives for the worst of your forbidden treats and allow yourself to have some others that aren't so bad (my indulgence is sugar free pudding and sugar free apple cider). Let yourself have treats. If you constantly deny yourself, you are setting yourself up for some serious binging later. Just remember, a splurge should be one meal or one snack, not the whole day (that is binge-ing, so is "splurging" everyday).
7. Do your research. I recommend reading the Eat This, Not That books and articles. They helped me so much. It's a huge wake up call when you find out that dinner out was equal to eating 10 Big Macs. They also give you healthier options and ways to order some of your favorites in a healthy way. I can't even think about Cheesecake Factory without gagging a little now.
8. Read the labels. The whole thing! From Calories down to ingredients. If you don't know what the ingredients are, look them up (you'd be surprised how many different names there are for sugar and wheat). Also pay careful attention to serving sizes. A lot of companies try to make themselves look better by putting ridiculously small serving suggestions on the label.
9. If you didn't make it, don't trust it and all salads are not created equal. Basically, be careful of "healthy" sounding foods (like salad) that are loaded with as many calories as massive binge fest at Burger King. A lot of your favorite restaurant recipes can be made at home for less money and less trauma to your waistline. Also be aware of the "healthy" sounding stuff you may have at home that could damage your efforts. Again, read the labels. Does that granola bar really sound healthy with 20+ grams of sugar. Trade it for a plain yogurt (sweeten with Stevia or your own favorite sweetner, just not sugar) with low fat low sugar granola. Or have a smoothie. Smoothies made at home are wonderful for you (and they taste indulgent). And be very careful with dried fruits. A lot of them have added sugar and chemicals and think about this - how many grapes does that handful of raisins equal? It would be better just to have the grapes.
10. Move. Workout, dance with your kids, chase them down the hall, walk to the mailbox, park far away from entrances, etc. Just get up and start moving. If you feeling tired, try a workout and see how you feel afterwards. Don't push yourself to hard in the beginning, you don't want to injure yourself.
11. Getting upset is okay, just don't give up. I have had days where I come home from the gym and cried, but I keep going. I know what I'm doing is going to help me in the long run. Take your time. Results don't happen over night. Don't be too hard on yourself. Losing weight is hard and there are going to be speed bumps along the way.
12. Don't crash/fad diet. They don't work! The ones that do are only temporary. Once you go back to your old eating habits, the weight will come back. Change your lifestyle and the way you eat. You don't need to starve to lose weight. In fact, I eat every 2-4 hours (and good stuff too, no rice cakes or cabbage soup for me).
13. The most important one, at least for me. Get a good support group. Whether it's friends, family, a trainer, a weight loss group, etc., just get the support you need. People that will encourage you, but be tough enough to keep you on track.
14. Drink water! Extremely important. Cut out the soda too. I know it's hard. It took me about 2 weeks before I stopped having the "Man I could really go for a soda" urges. You can do it and you will feel better. Don't like water? Try getting filters for you tap, buying flavor pouches or bottles flavored water. Just get more H2O into your system. You're body will thank you!
Well, I know there is more, but now I'm ready for bed. Good luck and remember, beauty comes from within too.
Monday, October 25, 2010
When Mommy Is Not Happy, NOBODY Is Happy!
Beware of rampaging mother! You've been warned lol!
But honestly it's not my fault. My cycle and hormones are all out of whack (again! This has been happening since I was 15 and to this day, I still can't get a straight answer from a doctor about why it happens). I take an herbal suppliment that helps to balance out my mood swings, but it does nothing to help the mess that my cycle has become. I haven't had a real period in about 2 months. Oh yes, I know "Lucky, wish I wasn't having a period". Ya ya ya, I here this all the time and let me tell you, it's annoying as HELL! I have this problem on and off, always have. When it happens I have all the joys of period (cramps, back pain, swelling, mood swings, etc), just little to no bleeding. This may sound like a better option, but let me tell you, it's so not. Now I will spend the next however many weeks/months wondering when my period will decide to show up (and usually it's at the worst possible moment, like at the gym in the middle of a workout). I will have random spotting and of course the pain, that comes and goes as it pleases, is always a fun fest.
I'm sure it's caused by stress and losing weight and stress (did I mention the stress?). There has been a lot going on lately and while I've managed to keep a pretty good attitude about everything, my stress level is pretty high. I am extremely frustrated with trying to lose weight (and an out of whack cycle does not make THAT any easier either) and being all crazy emotional doesn't help. So sometimes I snap and then everyone's upset, which upsets me even more and then everyone else and around and around and around we go. Oh joy. Oh yes, and no medical insurance, so I can't hop on down the doctor's office either. Another stress factor. Awesome.
But honestly it's not my fault. My cycle and hormones are all out of whack (again! This has been happening since I was 15 and to this day, I still can't get a straight answer from a doctor about why it happens). I take an herbal suppliment that helps to balance out my mood swings, but it does nothing to help the mess that my cycle has become. I haven't had a real period in about 2 months. Oh yes, I know "Lucky, wish I wasn't having a period". Ya ya ya, I here this all the time and let me tell you, it's annoying as HELL! I have this problem on and off, always have. When it happens I have all the joys of period (cramps, back pain, swelling, mood swings, etc), just little to no bleeding. This may sound like a better option, but let me tell you, it's so not. Now I will spend the next however many weeks/months wondering when my period will decide to show up (and usually it's at the worst possible moment, like at the gym in the middle of a workout). I will have random spotting and of course the pain, that comes and goes as it pleases, is always a fun fest.
I'm sure it's caused by stress and losing weight and stress (did I mention the stress?). There has been a lot going on lately and while I've managed to keep a pretty good attitude about everything, my stress level is pretty high. I am extremely frustrated with trying to lose weight (and an out of whack cycle does not make THAT any easier either) and being all crazy emotional doesn't help. So sometimes I snap and then everyone's upset, which upsets me even more and then everyone else and around and around and around we go. Oh joy. Oh yes, and no medical insurance, so I can't hop on down the doctor's office either. Another stress factor. Awesome.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Inside Me There Is A Skinny Girl Trying To Get Out. I Usually Shut The Bitch Up With Chocolate!
Most of us have been here before, struggling with the demon that is weight loss. I'm smack in the middle of this battle now. I look at my high school pictures and want to just cry.
See! This was my Junior Prom! I looked awesome!!!!! Rocking a size 6-7!
This is me now :(. So not rocking a size 18 and miserable.
Well, 2 kids later and that girl has been long buried. The trouble started with my first child. I had a horrible reaction to my hormone levels which resulted in throwing up everything I ate, a horrible purple rash on 75% of my body and gaining around 80 pounds! After I had her, I discovered just how difficult weight loss was. I had never had to worry about it before. I was always very active, so I ate what I wanted. BIG MISTAKE! Even though I had my first child at 20, being young did nothing for my plight.
Just before I got pregnant with monster number 2, I began to lose weight FINALLY. I had lost about 15 pounds and then BOOM! Prego!!!! So much for weight loss. Pregnancy with Mickey was not nearly as bad as Amee and I was able to eat a little healthier. But I still put on about 50 pounds. After I had her I became determined. I was sitting at a very scary 250 pounds! It's terrifying to even say that number. I was worried about all kinds of problems. So as soon as I got the all clear from the doctor, I began my journey. I worked out, ate a very restrictive diet (aka boring!) and even tried a few weight loss pills. I lost 50 pounds in about 4-6 months. I was so proud of myself :). I thought nothing could stop me now.
Then came divorce and a move from Califonia to Washington. I was so busy, I didn't really have time to work out and my diet was quickly going down the drain. Surprisingly I was still losing weight. I was shocked, but hey, I sure wasn't going to complain. But then things went wrong. I began to feel really tired all the time, just over all run down. I ignored it for a year, figuring I was tired from dealing with Mickey's illnesses. Winter of 2007 the pain started. All over horrible pain that would wake me up in the middle of the night. And I was still losing weight.
So off to the doc I went. Turns out I had a really really bad vitamin D deficiency. So the doc loaded me up on vitamin D and I began to feel better. Then the weight started coming back (see what happens when you get healthy!!!). Between spring of 2008 and spring of 2010, I got back up to 215. I was devastated. I was exhausted and depressed and on top of that I had a chronically ill child. It's so hard to find the motivation to work out when your daughter is constantly asking you to sit with her. I couldn't stand to look at myself the mirror.
So I finally made the decision that this had to stop. I had two children and a husband that needed me! I joined a local gym and began the long journey, not only to get my weight under control, but to find myself again (that happy, bubbly bouncy ball of energy that Ryan fell in love with). I needed to get healthy for me. I needed to get healthy for Mickey, especially since we were closing in on a diagnosis. Shortly after joining the gym, I started working with trainers. The change has been amazing! I'm getting stronger, I have tons more energy. I am a better mother and a better wife.
The journey has just begun, but already I'm beginning to hover into the under 200 pounds range (by the end of this week, hopefully I will officially be under 200). I've lost 15 pounds and lots of inches. The muscle is coming on and the fat is melting off! My first goal is to reach 150 pounds. At that point I will decide just how much muscle I want to build up and how small I want to get. I also have completely changed the way we eat. The girls are totally gluten free (mostly for Mickey's Fibromyalgia, but it also helps Amee too). We eat a lot more fresh fruit and I eat more salads. I make healthy dinners at home and we keep eating out to a minimum (and when we do eat out, it's just me and Ryan). I work out 5-6 days a week with at least 3 of those days being weight training. I'm going slow and doing this the right way so that this time the weight stays off for good.
My trainers are incredible. I have one, Kevin, who I work with regularly. He is AWESOME! He pushes me hard, but also encourages me every step of the way. I have been physically challenged in ways I haven't felt since colorguard and water polo. The other trainers I work with occasionally, Max and Donnie, work with me to change things up a bit. They all work hard to help me work past my hurdles and to keep my workouts from getting boring. The understand my reasons for wanting to get my weight under control and they have all been extremely supportive (in fact the entire training team at the gym has been so great to me).
It is now almost the end of October and I'm on my way to becoming a healthy, fit, sexy Momma! I want to reach 150 by summer 2011 and have a plan ready for the rest of my training regiment. It's been a difficult road so far. I've hit hurdles, had breakdowns and gotten really frustrated, but I'm proud of myself for sticking with it and my family and friends have been really wonderfully supportive. If it weren't for them, I would probably still be laying on my fat ass, being sad and pathetic.
So here's to all the women struggling with their weight. To all the ones that are fighting hard to do something about it. To my friends that have been supportive. To my family that does what they can to make sure I stick with it. To my wonderful husband, who puts the kids to bed so I can go to the gym, encourages me and tells me I'm beautiful everyday (even when I don't feel beautiful), makes me go to the gym even when I don't want to and helps me out around the house when the trainers work me to the point of not being able to walk ;).
Well, 2 kids later and that girl has been long buried. The trouble started with my first child. I had a horrible reaction to my hormone levels which resulted in throwing up everything I ate, a horrible purple rash on 75% of my body and gaining around 80 pounds! After I had her, I discovered just how difficult weight loss was. I had never had to worry about it before. I was always very active, so I ate what I wanted. BIG MISTAKE! Even though I had my first child at 20, being young did nothing for my plight.
Just before I got pregnant with monster number 2, I began to lose weight FINALLY. I had lost about 15 pounds and then BOOM! Prego!!!! So much for weight loss. Pregnancy with Mickey was not nearly as bad as Amee and I was able to eat a little healthier. But I still put on about 50 pounds. After I had her I became determined. I was sitting at a very scary 250 pounds! It's terrifying to even say that number. I was worried about all kinds of problems. So as soon as I got the all clear from the doctor, I began my journey. I worked out, ate a very restrictive diet (aka boring!) and even tried a few weight loss pills. I lost 50 pounds in about 4-6 months. I was so proud of myself :). I thought nothing could stop me now.
Then came divorce and a move from Califonia to Washington. I was so busy, I didn't really have time to work out and my diet was quickly going down the drain. Surprisingly I was still losing weight. I was shocked, but hey, I sure wasn't going to complain. But then things went wrong. I began to feel really tired all the time, just over all run down. I ignored it for a year, figuring I was tired from dealing with Mickey's illnesses. Winter of 2007 the pain started. All over horrible pain that would wake me up in the middle of the night. And I was still losing weight.
So off to the doc I went. Turns out I had a really really bad vitamin D deficiency. So the doc loaded me up on vitamin D and I began to feel better. Then the weight started coming back (see what happens when you get healthy!!!). Between spring of 2008 and spring of 2010, I got back up to 215. I was devastated. I was exhausted and depressed and on top of that I had a chronically ill child. It's so hard to find the motivation to work out when your daughter is constantly asking you to sit with her. I couldn't stand to look at myself the mirror.
So I finally made the decision that this had to stop. I had two children and a husband that needed me! I joined a local gym and began the long journey, not only to get my weight under control, but to find myself again (that happy, bubbly bouncy ball of energy that Ryan fell in love with). I needed to get healthy for me. I needed to get healthy for Mickey, especially since we were closing in on a diagnosis. Shortly after joining the gym, I started working with trainers. The change has been amazing! I'm getting stronger, I have tons more energy. I am a better mother and a better wife.
The journey has just begun, but already I'm beginning to hover into the under 200 pounds range (by the end of this week, hopefully I will officially be under 200). I've lost 15 pounds and lots of inches. The muscle is coming on and the fat is melting off! My first goal is to reach 150 pounds. At that point I will decide just how much muscle I want to build up and how small I want to get. I also have completely changed the way we eat. The girls are totally gluten free (mostly for Mickey's Fibromyalgia, but it also helps Amee too). We eat a lot more fresh fruit and I eat more salads. I make healthy dinners at home and we keep eating out to a minimum (and when we do eat out, it's just me and Ryan). I work out 5-6 days a week with at least 3 of those days being weight training. I'm going slow and doing this the right way so that this time the weight stays off for good.
My trainers are incredible. I have one, Kevin, who I work with regularly. He is AWESOME! He pushes me hard, but also encourages me every step of the way. I have been physically challenged in ways I haven't felt since colorguard and water polo. The other trainers I work with occasionally, Max and Donnie, work with me to change things up a bit. They all work hard to help me work past my hurdles and to keep my workouts from getting boring. The understand my reasons for wanting to get my weight under control and they have all been extremely supportive (in fact the entire training team at the gym has been so great to me).
It is now almost the end of October and I'm on my way to becoming a healthy, fit, sexy Momma! I want to reach 150 by summer 2011 and have a plan ready for the rest of my training regiment. It's been a difficult road so far. I've hit hurdles, had breakdowns and gotten really frustrated, but I'm proud of myself for sticking with it and my family and friends have been really wonderfully supportive. If it weren't for them, I would probably still be laying on my fat ass, being sad and pathetic.
So here's to all the women struggling with their weight. To all the ones that are fighting hard to do something about it. To my friends that have been supportive. To my family that does what they can to make sure I stick with it. To my wonderful husband, who puts the kids to bed so I can go to the gym, encourages me and tells me I'm beautiful everyday (even when I don't feel beautiful), makes me go to the gym even when I don't want to and helps me out around the house when the trainers work me to the point of not being able to walk ;).
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Why I Love My Husband...
A friend of mine posted about why she appreciates her husband and it got me thinking about all the things I love about Ryan.
1. He makes me smile. Everyday. It's no exaggeration. Everyday he finds a way to make me smile. Some days are easy, other days he works really hard. But he doesn't give up until he gets that smile.
2. He does everything he can to allow me the ability to stay home. He knows it's important to me, especially since Mykayla cannot be in public school or daycare due to her Fibromyalgia. He even told me the other day that he was looking at getting a second seasonal job to pull in some extra money (unfortunately nothing is available right now that works with our schedules, but the fact that he looked was touching).
3. Like me, he has no desire to "own" a house at this time. We both believe that you do not need a mortage to have a home. Home is what you make with your family.
4. He has been there for Mykayla since she first got sick. He takes time off to go to important doctors appointments. He lays with her on the couch when she doesn't feel good. He even gets up with her in the middle of the night (which thankfully has not been happening as much).
5. He helps Amee when she is struggling with boys or friends or life in general. Basically, he is just a really good dad, which can be difficult sometimes when you have 2 girls.
6. He makes me feel loved everyday.
7. He helps me around the house when I'm feeling overwhelmed.
8. He watches the girls and gets them into bed at night so that I can go to the gym.
9. He has the same problem with not liking the feeling of being "stuck" somewhere for long periods of time.
10. He loves me because of my oddness, not inspite of it.
11. He rubs my feet when they swell and my back and shoulders when they hurt.
12. He lets me lay down and take a break from everything whenever life starts to get to be too overwhelming.
13. He is completely supportive of me trying to lose weight and my work out regiment.
14. He keeps me on budget, while also letting me splurge on occasion.
15. He cares about my safety. I had to take the girls to a doctor appointment by myself, when it started hailing bad. He called me to make sure I got there safely. I have driving anxiety and he doesn't make me drive if I'm feeling uncomfortable with it.
16. We've been together for over 4 years and he still brings me flowers.
I know that there are many more things I could list, but now I have children yelling at and around me, so I can't think anymore lol. But you get the idea, my husband is awesome and I am very lucky to have him!
1. He makes me smile. Everyday. It's no exaggeration. Everyday he finds a way to make me smile. Some days are easy, other days he works really hard. But he doesn't give up until he gets that smile.
2. He does everything he can to allow me the ability to stay home. He knows it's important to me, especially since Mykayla cannot be in public school or daycare due to her Fibromyalgia. He even told me the other day that he was looking at getting a second seasonal job to pull in some extra money (unfortunately nothing is available right now that works with our schedules, but the fact that he looked was touching).
3. Like me, he has no desire to "own" a house at this time. We both believe that you do not need a mortage to have a home. Home is what you make with your family.
4. He has been there for Mykayla since she first got sick. He takes time off to go to important doctors appointments. He lays with her on the couch when she doesn't feel good. He even gets up with her in the middle of the night (which thankfully has not been happening as much).
5. He helps Amee when she is struggling with boys or friends or life in general. Basically, he is just a really good dad, which can be difficult sometimes when you have 2 girls.
6. He makes me feel loved everyday.
7. He helps me around the house when I'm feeling overwhelmed.
8. He watches the girls and gets them into bed at night so that I can go to the gym.
9. He has the same problem with not liking the feeling of being "stuck" somewhere for long periods of time.
10. He loves me because of my oddness, not inspite of it.
11. He rubs my feet when they swell and my back and shoulders when they hurt.
12. He lets me lay down and take a break from everything whenever life starts to get to be too overwhelming.
13. He is completely supportive of me trying to lose weight and my work out regiment.
14. He keeps me on budget, while also letting me splurge on occasion.
15. He cares about my safety. I had to take the girls to a doctor appointment by myself, when it started hailing bad. He called me to make sure I got there safely. I have driving anxiety and he doesn't make me drive if I'm feeling uncomfortable with it.
16. We've been together for over 4 years and he still brings me flowers.
I know that there are many more things I could list, but now I have children yelling at and around me, so I can't think anymore lol. But you get the idea, my husband is awesome and I am very lucky to have him!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
How Sweet It Is....
Mickey is *gasp* sleeping!!!! And not JUST sleeping. She is sleeping well and taking naps again! This is a huge breakthrough for us :). She started having trouble sleeping at about age 2. She absolutely refused to take naps (in fact her stubbornness and refusal led to shoving something up her nose in protest and we had to take her to the ER to have it vacuumed out lol). Everyone told me "oh maybe she just doesn't need them anymore". But she was soooo cranky. And then the trouble sleeping at night started. Long story short, she wasn't sleeping!
Anyway.... She's been gluten-free since about July, but even that hadn't helped her sleep. So we started Melatonin at night. That worked wonders *happy Mommy*. But she was still super cranky in the evening and naps were a terrible fight everyday. A little over a week ago we started her on a pretty heavy vitamin regiment (well, heavy for a 4 year old that is) after her doctors finally agreed she has Fibromyalgia. She currently takes 10 different suppliments totaling 16 pills (17 on days that are really bad). Since then she has started taking a nap every day :)! It has done wonders for her attitude in the evening. Now if I could just find a way to fix her attitude when she first wakes up, lol.
Amee's new glasses came in 2 weeks ahead of schedule :) *happy Mommy again*. She had to get bi-focals this time. Poor kid, even my vision isn't so messed I need bi-focals (my glasses are just so thick that they cost a small fortune). Hopefully these will help her reading (hoping hoping hoping). Now I just have to find time to go pick them up. Having one car (and having to let hubby use it everyday for work) is really a pain.
Anyway.... She's been gluten-free since about July, but even that hadn't helped her sleep. So we started Melatonin at night. That worked wonders *happy Mommy*. But she was still super cranky in the evening and naps were a terrible fight everyday. A little over a week ago we started her on a pretty heavy vitamin regiment (well, heavy for a 4 year old that is) after her doctors finally agreed she has Fibromyalgia. She currently takes 10 different suppliments totaling 16 pills (17 on days that are really bad). Since then she has started taking a nap every day :)! It has done wonders for her attitude in the evening. Now if I could just find a way to fix her attitude when she first wakes up, lol.
Amee's new glasses came in 2 weeks ahead of schedule :) *happy Mommy again*. She had to get bi-focals this time. Poor kid, even my vision isn't so messed I need bi-focals (my glasses are just so thick that they cost a small fortune). Hopefully these will help her reading (hoping hoping hoping). Now I just have to find time to go pick them up. Having one car (and having to let hubby use it everyday for work) is really a pain.
Monday, October 18, 2010
What Is Fibromyalgia?
So life got a little hectic and my blog got pushed to the back burner for a few days. To get back into it, I thought I would start by answering a question we get often What is Fibromylagia? I am going to give you the very basic "clinical" description and then go more into depth of what Fibromylagia truelly means for a child and how it has affected our family.
- http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/info/rheumatology/diagnose/jpfs.htm
When you read just the basic description, it sort of appears to be "not that bad". That's the problem, Fibromylagia is one of the most misunderstood diseases/disorders out there. There are still even some stubborn doctors and people that think it's not even a real problem, that it's created by someone thinking they have a problem. This idea was even common about 15 years ago. About 10 years ago it was believed this disease only affected adults. In about the last 5 years has there been more studies done, providing more information about Juvenile Fibromyalgia, but even now, it's still commonly believed that it can't show up until puberty. It is believed that it may be caused by neurotransmitters miss-firing pain signals, but even though this is a commonly accepted theory, it is still not known for sure if this is what happens or why it happens. There is also still debate about whether there is a hereditary gene passed on that predisposes someone to developing Fibromyalgia. Since my sister was also diagnoses with Juvenile Fibromyalgia, my vote is for it being hereditary.
That is what makes Mykayla's case so rare. 1 in 6 young girls will develop Fibromylagia around puberty. Pretty common right!?! It becomes more uncommon in children between 7-12 and, as it's been said to us, almost unheard of in children under 7. Mykayla is 4 (almost 5) and started showing the full blown symptoms at around 2.
A better description of our everyday life and her everyday struggle can be found at WebMD.com.
If the condition is not diagnosed and treated early, symptoms can go on indefinitely, or they may disappear for months and then recur.
As you can see, once you break down all the symptoms, it is not just "all over pain and fatigue". This is a condition that can render a bouncy four year old to a limp, lethargic, lump of child in a matter of minutes. She can happy and laughing to crying and miserable in a blink. There are periods of little to know symptoms, called remission. When symptoms return, it is referred to as a "flare". Flares can be caused by anything. A virus (or bacterial infection), poor nights sleep, stress, hormone changes, vitamin deficancy, food intolerance, physical activity, cold, heat, sun exposure or just because. It also puts extra stress on the body, which compromises the immune system. For Mykayla, this means that even just a simple "cold" can cause fevers over 102.
How has this affected our family-
How hasn't it!?! Ever had to deal with a cranky 4 year old? Try dealing with one who also has a migraine, a fever, all over pain and stomach cramps. How about those fun temper tantrums? Well those stress her body, which sends into a flare (which can last a few hours or a few days). So we have to deal with the tantrum and then the aftermath. Mykayla is one of the few Fibro sufferers that has chronic daily stomach pain (like my sister), so even good days are not totally pain free. She can't be in public school or daycare because her compromised immune system cannot fight off all the infections she would be exposed to and because her random fevers are high enough to get her sent home (which would mean that even during a good remission, she would still be sent home at least once a week). This is why I'm a stay-at-home-mom. No one is going to employ someone who constantly has to leave for a sick child. Making plans is very difficult and we always have to have a back up in place just in case she flares up (especially since sometimes there is no warning, like when it happened during a recent shopping trip at Wal-mart). We must be very careful about her vitamin regiment and her diet, or we all pay the price. And mornings are the worst around here. Every morning she is a cranky, irritable mess until about 9. Since I'm not a morning person myself, we are quite the pair lol.
So in a nutshell, FYBROMYALGIA SUCKS! It's not imaginary, nor is it a disease that only affects older adults (or even older children for that matter). It is the invisible monster, undetectable by medical testing. It is a disease that continues to be misunderstood (even by doctors) and misdiagnosed. My hope is that my blogs about my daughter will help even just one parent. Give them hope that they will discover what is ailing their precious child. Fibromyalgia is difficult and life long, but it is very manageable. The most important part is to get a diagnosis (so you know what you're dealing with) and to find the treatment that works best for your child. And also, to not listen to the skeptics.
As one Rheumatology doctor put it- In a way, I feel worse for my patients with Fibromyalgia then those that have Lupus. With Lupus, we know what it is, we know what causes it, we know how to treat it. Fibromyalgia causes all the pain of Lupus, but because every case is different, some patients never find full relief. As a doctor, Fibromyalgia is a devastating diagnosis, because too often, once we confirm diagnosis, there is nothing more we can do.
What is Juvenile Primary Fibromyalgia Syndrome (JPFS)?
Juvenile Primary Fibromyalgia Syndrome (JPFS) causes a person to experience musculoskeletal pain “all over” and fatigue as their main symptoms. JPFS is a condition that has no known cause. Traditionally, patients with JPFS are cared for by rheumatologists because of the symptoms of muscle and joint pain.- http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/info/rheumatology/diagnose/jpfs.htm
When you read just the basic description, it sort of appears to be "not that bad". That's the problem, Fibromylagia is one of the most misunderstood diseases/disorders out there. There are still even some stubborn doctors and people that think it's not even a real problem, that it's created by someone thinking they have a problem. This idea was even common about 15 years ago. About 10 years ago it was believed this disease only affected adults. In about the last 5 years has there been more studies done, providing more information about Juvenile Fibromyalgia, but even now, it's still commonly believed that it can't show up until puberty. It is believed that it may be caused by neurotransmitters miss-firing pain signals, but even though this is a commonly accepted theory, it is still not known for sure if this is what happens or why it happens. There is also still debate about whether there is a hereditary gene passed on that predisposes someone to developing Fibromyalgia. Since my sister was also diagnoses with Juvenile Fibromyalgia, my vote is for it being hereditary.
That is what makes Mykayla's case so rare. 1 in 6 young girls will develop Fibromylagia around puberty. Pretty common right!?! It becomes more uncommon in children between 7-12 and, as it's been said to us, almost unheard of in children under 7. Mykayla is 4 (almost 5) and started showing the full blown symptoms at around 2.
A better description of our everyday life and her everyday struggle can be found at WebMD.com.
Symptoms of Fibromyalgia
What Are the Symptoms of Fibromyalgia?
Symptoms of fibromyalgia include:- Chronic muscle pain, muscle spasms or tightness, weakness in the limbs, and leg cramps
- Moderate or severe fatigue and decreased energy
- Insomnia or waking up feeling just as tired as when you went to sleep
- Stiffness upon waking or after staying in one position for too long
- Difficulty remembering, concentrating, and performing simple mental tasks
- Abdominal pain, bloating, nausea, and constipation alternating with diarrhea (irritable bowel syndrome)
- Tension or migraine headaches
- Jaw and facial tenderness
- Sensitivity to one or more of the following: odors, noise, bright lights, medications, certain foods, and cold
- Feeling anxious or depressed
- Numbness or tingling in the face, arms, hands, legs, or feet
- Increase in urinary urgency or frequency (irritable bladder)
- Reduced tolerance for exercise and muscle pain after exercise
- A feeling of swelling (without actual swelling) in the hands and feet
- Painful menstrual periods
- Dizziness
If the condition is not diagnosed and treated early, symptoms can go on indefinitely, or they may disappear for months and then recur.
As you can see, once you break down all the symptoms, it is not just "all over pain and fatigue". This is a condition that can render a bouncy four year old to a limp, lethargic, lump of child in a matter of minutes. She can happy and laughing to crying and miserable in a blink. There are periods of little to know symptoms, called remission. When symptoms return, it is referred to as a "flare". Flares can be caused by anything. A virus (or bacterial infection), poor nights sleep, stress, hormone changes, vitamin deficancy, food intolerance, physical activity, cold, heat, sun exposure or just because. It also puts extra stress on the body, which compromises the immune system. For Mykayla, this means that even just a simple "cold" can cause fevers over 102.
How has this affected our family-
How hasn't it!?! Ever had to deal with a cranky 4 year old? Try dealing with one who also has a migraine, a fever, all over pain and stomach cramps. How about those fun temper tantrums? Well those stress her body, which sends into a flare (which can last a few hours or a few days). So we have to deal with the tantrum and then the aftermath. Mykayla is one of the few Fibro sufferers that has chronic daily stomach pain (like my sister), so even good days are not totally pain free. She can't be in public school or daycare because her compromised immune system cannot fight off all the infections she would be exposed to and because her random fevers are high enough to get her sent home (which would mean that even during a good remission, she would still be sent home at least once a week). This is why I'm a stay-at-home-mom. No one is going to employ someone who constantly has to leave for a sick child. Making plans is very difficult and we always have to have a back up in place just in case she flares up (especially since sometimes there is no warning, like when it happened during a recent shopping trip at Wal-mart). We must be very careful about her vitamin regiment and her diet, or we all pay the price. And mornings are the worst around here. Every morning she is a cranky, irritable mess until about 9. Since I'm not a morning person myself, we are quite the pair lol.
So in a nutshell, FYBROMYALGIA SUCKS! It's not imaginary, nor is it a disease that only affects older adults (or even older children for that matter). It is the invisible monster, undetectable by medical testing. It is a disease that continues to be misunderstood (even by doctors) and misdiagnosed. My hope is that my blogs about my daughter will help even just one parent. Give them hope that they will discover what is ailing their precious child. Fibromyalgia is difficult and life long, but it is very manageable. The most important part is to get a diagnosis (so you know what you're dealing with) and to find the treatment that works best for your child. And also, to not listen to the skeptics.
As one Rheumatology doctor put it- In a way, I feel worse for my patients with Fibromyalgia then those that have Lupus. With Lupus, we know what it is, we know what causes it, we know how to treat it. Fibromyalgia causes all the pain of Lupus, but because every case is different, some patients never find full relief. As a doctor, Fibromyalgia is a devastating diagnosis, because too often, once we confirm diagnosis, there is nothing more we can do.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Bittersweet Chocolate
Have you ever had bittersweet chocolate by itself? It has this satisfying sweetness to it at first, but if you're used to milk chocolates, then you might be put off by the bitter aftertaste that follows. Personally I don't think it's terrible, but it's not something I would seek out. I prefer actual dark chocolate myself. No, this is not a blog about chocolate, lol. This blog is actually about using the term "bittersweet" to describe something that is both good and bad.
We've been battling health problems with my youngest daughter since she was 1 (she is now almost 5). When she was 1 she developed Mastoiditis (and infection of the Mastoid bone) and had to have 2 surgeries to fix it and put tubes in her ears. Before that she was sick with throat and ear infections for 2 months, that just would not go away, no matter what antibiotics they put her on. The surgeries and the Mastoiditis landed her in the hospital for 5 days. Those were some of the longest days of my life. I barely slept. About 2 months after that she got pneumonia. That was really scary. I've never seen a child turn gray before. I was so scared of losing her. It just seemed like no matter what we did, she just kept getting sick.
So I quit my job and became a stay-at-home-mom. Once she was out of daycare, things seemed to get a little better. The infections cleared up and the doctors seemed to think she just had severe allergies and maybe asthma. At around 2 years old she began to have trouble sleeping. It started with her naps. It became a daily fight to get her to take them. Some people told me, maybe she was ready to stop naps, but she was just so cranky whenever she didn't take them. Then she started having trouble falling asleep at night. Some nights it would be a 2-3 hour fight to get her to go to sleep, a real problem for her sister since they share a room. We brought it up to her ear, nose and throat doctor, but again he insisted that she had severe allergies. Unfortunately they would not let us allergy test her until she was 3.
Just after she turned 3, we took her in for allergy testing. Turns out she doesn't have ANY allergies! Not even "seasonal" ones. We took this info back to the doctor, but again he insisted it must be allergies. After that, I started taking her to a "family medicine" doctor. Her sleeping had become worse (now she was waking up 2-3 times a night, along with having trouble falling asleep and napping) and she was now complaining of headaches and stomach pain. She was also starting to run low grade fevers often, with no symptoms of being "sick".
We were immediately referred to a Neurologist. She had lots of blood work, and MRI and an EEG. All normal. So we tried treating her for migraines. But after about 3 months of it not working, it was becoming clear it was migraines. So then we were referred to a Rheumatologist, which was a 2 month wait. During that time her fevers got worse, she passed 2 kidney stones and had developed sun sensitivity. She was easily fatigued, but still not sleeping and she began to not want to eat some foods that used to be her favorites. She had also gotten Chicken Pox twice in 1 year (even after having the vaccine) and any cold she got spiked her fever up to 101-102. We began to find ourselves confined to our home because taking her out was just too hard. I asked the Neurologist about the possibility of her having Fibromyalgia and he assured me she was too young.
Finally we saw the Rheumatologist. What a waste of time! We went over everything with her. All the symptoms, our concerns and again I brought up Fibromyalgia (my sister was diagnosed with it as a teenager, so it runs in the family). She barely looked her over and told us no it was Fibromyalgia and that at this time she wasn't "sick enough". She told us to go home and wait until she got worse. I was heartbroken. I was watching my daughter suffer and there was nothing we could do to help. She sometimes so pale and she had developed terrible dark circles under eyes that would not go away.
So we stopped seeing doctors for awhile. A couple of months later the fevers seemed to stop, but she still had all the other symptoms. Then in January, the fevers and headaches started again. This time worse. She was in pain and running fevers everyday. Her fevers were now between 100-101.8 (instead of ranging from 99.5-100). Her insomnia was much worse. None of us were getting much sleep. By May I had her insurance switched and figured out and found her a new doctor, this time a Pediatrician. She immediately could see something was just not right. She ran blood work and a urinalysis. The only thing that came back with anything abnormal was that there were blood cells in her urine. Mickey was then sent out for an abdominal ultrasound, which came back normal (but the tech was so sweet and gave Mickey an ultrasound picture of one of her kidneys, which she just loved lol). Next was a bone scan. Those are not pleasant for someone so young. She hated the IV and meds they gave her and then she had to be put under anethesia for the test (same thing for the MRI less than a year before). Again, everything normal.
Next was a referral to Infectious Disease and an ANA blood test. Finally something came back abnormal, her ANA was elevated. Infectious Disease re-ran the ANA less than a month later and it doubled! They thoroughly examined her and carefully went over all her symptoms. Then the bad news.... She had to be sent back to the department that had dismissed us almost a year ago, Rheumatology. This time they suspected Lupus. We were very scared for our daughter. We just wanted answers, a way to help her.
But once again Rheumatology was not much help. They dismissed her again and it wasn't until I had a sobbing breakdown in the doctors office, that she realized just how much this was affecting all of us. At this point, she finally admits that her headaches, insomnia, pain and stomach problems along with a weakened immune response (although her test showed her immune system to be normal) did indicate that we were most likely dealing with Fibromyalgia. I have to admit it took every ounce of strength I had left to keep me from ripping into her! Just a year ago we were told it was all but impossible, now all of sudden it was "oh well, it could be".
Not one to give up, her Pediatrician decided to run more test, just to be sure we weren't missing anything. She checked for Celiac's and tested her vitamin D levels. Celiac's was negative, but her vitamin D was low, so we were referred to Gastroenterology and recommended to put her on a gluten free diet to see if it helped her symptoms. We also decided to put our oldest on the diet as well to treat her possible ADHD (the difference has been incredible!) and cut our gluten to almost none as well. Gastro also recommended the GF diet, since that is now a common way to help manage Fibro and put her on a daily mild laxative to help her digestive track work better and hopefully help her absorption rate.
The difference was amazing! Her headaches and fevers became less often (and her fevers more mild except when she was actually sick). Her attitude became better and her fatigue lessened considerably. It didn't help her insomnia, but we now give her melatonin for that. After 2 months, we went back for a follow up. She still needs the laxative, her digestive track just doesn't work right on it's own at this time, but they confirmed that they too believe she has Fibromyalgia.
So now the "bittersweet" explanation-
Sweet: We now know whats wrong and we are learning new ways to help manage her condition.
Bitter: Had the doctors listened to me in the first place, we could have started to treat her 1-2 years ago and she wouldn't have had to suffer.
Sweet: Fibromyalgia is manageable and the disease itself does not cause physical damage.
Bitter: It is a life long disease (I know that it's commonly called a "syndrome or disorder", but it causes dis-ease in the body and therefore that is how I refer to it). Mickey's is also complicated by a very severe Gluten Intolerance, so she will need to be on a GF diet for the rest of her life. There is no set treatment for Fibro, especially in her age. We have chosen a natural course of treatment. Mickey currently takes 16 pills a day of vitamins and suppliments, plus her mild daily laxative (which is a softener not a stimulant, so it's safe for her to take as long as she needs, even forever). Though the disease itself does not cause physical damage, the effects of the symptoms can. Her immune system is weaker than most children her age and her intolerance to gluten is so sensitive that one meal with gluten in it will give her a temp of over 101 for 3 days. The insomnia makes it harder to recover from even a mild cold. Also any infection (viral or bacterial) sets her into a flare up of Fibro symptoms (worse insomnia, high fever, headaches, stomach pain, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome- CFS and chronic all over pain or discomfort).
Another bittersweet thing for us is that thankfully Mickey will never be alone in this. Because my sister also suffers from Fibromyalgia (and was diagnosed as a juvenile), she can completely understand how Mickey feels. Mickey will always have someone to turn to and talk to about what she is going through. Fibromyalgia is one of the most misunderstoond diseases out there, but Mickey will always have love and support (from all her friends and family). It will be tough at times, especially right now since she still doesn't understand why sometimes she just doesn't feel good or gets tired very easily when they other kids don't. Thankfully I am able to stay home and homeschool her, so that she doesn't have to deal with this in a public school. We work through it one day at time, thankful that it's not something worse and thankful that we are able to help her manage this. It's not easy to watch a 4 year old suffer, but she is a lot better than she was 1-2 years ago and we will continue to research and try to find ways to help her even more.
So that is my bittersweet story of my little Mickey. Her story continues on and we will continue to help her and raise awareness about Fibromyalgia. There is one last thing I leave you with, something we run into often. There is nothing that irritates me more than hearing "She doesn't look sick". My daughter pushes through everyday with more strength and determination than some adults. She may not "look sick", but she suffers more than most will ever know. Some days she is happy and bouncy, others, she can't even get off the couch. Please don't judge an illness by how someone looks. Fibromylagia is often called the "silent pain" because often you cannot "see" just how bad the symptoms are, but know that they are there and they are very serious. In the end, keep an open mind and an accepting heart.
We've been battling health problems with my youngest daughter since she was 1 (she is now almost 5). When she was 1 she developed Mastoiditis (and infection of the Mastoid bone) and had to have 2 surgeries to fix it and put tubes in her ears. Before that she was sick with throat and ear infections for 2 months, that just would not go away, no matter what antibiotics they put her on. The surgeries and the Mastoiditis landed her in the hospital for 5 days. Those were some of the longest days of my life. I barely slept. About 2 months after that she got pneumonia. That was really scary. I've never seen a child turn gray before. I was so scared of losing her. It just seemed like no matter what we did, she just kept getting sick.
So I quit my job and became a stay-at-home-mom. Once she was out of daycare, things seemed to get a little better. The infections cleared up and the doctors seemed to think she just had severe allergies and maybe asthma. At around 2 years old she began to have trouble sleeping. It started with her naps. It became a daily fight to get her to take them. Some people told me, maybe she was ready to stop naps, but she was just so cranky whenever she didn't take them. Then she started having trouble falling asleep at night. Some nights it would be a 2-3 hour fight to get her to go to sleep, a real problem for her sister since they share a room. We brought it up to her ear, nose and throat doctor, but again he insisted that she had severe allergies. Unfortunately they would not let us allergy test her until she was 3.
Just after she turned 3, we took her in for allergy testing. Turns out she doesn't have ANY allergies! Not even "seasonal" ones. We took this info back to the doctor, but again he insisted it must be allergies. After that, I started taking her to a "family medicine" doctor. Her sleeping had become worse (now she was waking up 2-3 times a night, along with having trouble falling asleep and napping) and she was now complaining of headaches and stomach pain. She was also starting to run low grade fevers often, with no symptoms of being "sick".
We were immediately referred to a Neurologist. She had lots of blood work, and MRI and an EEG. All normal. So we tried treating her for migraines. But after about 3 months of it not working, it was becoming clear it was migraines. So then we were referred to a Rheumatologist, which was a 2 month wait. During that time her fevers got worse, she passed 2 kidney stones and had developed sun sensitivity. She was easily fatigued, but still not sleeping and she began to not want to eat some foods that used to be her favorites. She had also gotten Chicken Pox twice in 1 year (even after having the vaccine) and any cold she got spiked her fever up to 101-102. We began to find ourselves confined to our home because taking her out was just too hard. I asked the Neurologist about the possibility of her having Fibromyalgia and he assured me she was too young.
Finally we saw the Rheumatologist. What a waste of time! We went over everything with her. All the symptoms, our concerns and again I brought up Fibromyalgia (my sister was diagnosed with it as a teenager, so it runs in the family). She barely looked her over and told us no it was Fibromyalgia and that at this time she wasn't "sick enough". She told us to go home and wait until she got worse. I was heartbroken. I was watching my daughter suffer and there was nothing we could do to help. She sometimes so pale and she had developed terrible dark circles under eyes that would not go away.
So we stopped seeing doctors for awhile. A couple of months later the fevers seemed to stop, but she still had all the other symptoms. Then in January, the fevers and headaches started again. This time worse. She was in pain and running fevers everyday. Her fevers were now between 100-101.8 (instead of ranging from 99.5-100). Her insomnia was much worse. None of us were getting much sleep. By May I had her insurance switched and figured out and found her a new doctor, this time a Pediatrician. She immediately could see something was just not right. She ran blood work and a urinalysis. The only thing that came back with anything abnormal was that there were blood cells in her urine. Mickey was then sent out for an abdominal ultrasound, which came back normal (but the tech was so sweet and gave Mickey an ultrasound picture of one of her kidneys, which she just loved lol). Next was a bone scan. Those are not pleasant for someone so young. She hated the IV and meds they gave her and then she had to be put under anethesia for the test (same thing for the MRI less than a year before). Again, everything normal.
Next was a referral to Infectious Disease and an ANA blood test. Finally something came back abnormal, her ANA was elevated. Infectious Disease re-ran the ANA less than a month later and it doubled! They thoroughly examined her and carefully went over all her symptoms. Then the bad news.... She had to be sent back to the department that had dismissed us almost a year ago, Rheumatology. This time they suspected Lupus. We were very scared for our daughter. We just wanted answers, a way to help her.
But once again Rheumatology was not much help. They dismissed her again and it wasn't until I had a sobbing breakdown in the doctors office, that she realized just how much this was affecting all of us. At this point, she finally admits that her headaches, insomnia, pain and stomach problems along with a weakened immune response (although her test showed her immune system to be normal) did indicate that we were most likely dealing with Fibromyalgia. I have to admit it took every ounce of strength I had left to keep me from ripping into her! Just a year ago we were told it was all but impossible, now all of sudden it was "oh well, it could be".
Not one to give up, her Pediatrician decided to run more test, just to be sure we weren't missing anything. She checked for Celiac's and tested her vitamin D levels. Celiac's was negative, but her vitamin D was low, so we were referred to Gastroenterology and recommended to put her on a gluten free diet to see if it helped her symptoms. We also decided to put our oldest on the diet as well to treat her possible ADHD (the difference has been incredible!) and cut our gluten to almost none as well. Gastro also recommended the GF diet, since that is now a common way to help manage Fibro and put her on a daily mild laxative to help her digestive track work better and hopefully help her absorption rate.
The difference was amazing! Her headaches and fevers became less often (and her fevers more mild except when she was actually sick). Her attitude became better and her fatigue lessened considerably. It didn't help her insomnia, but we now give her melatonin for that. After 2 months, we went back for a follow up. She still needs the laxative, her digestive track just doesn't work right on it's own at this time, but they confirmed that they too believe she has Fibromyalgia.
So now the "bittersweet" explanation-
Sweet: We now know whats wrong and we are learning new ways to help manage her condition.
Bitter: Had the doctors listened to me in the first place, we could have started to treat her 1-2 years ago and she wouldn't have had to suffer.
Sweet: Fibromyalgia is manageable and the disease itself does not cause physical damage.
Bitter: It is a life long disease (I know that it's commonly called a "syndrome or disorder", but it causes dis-ease in the body and therefore that is how I refer to it). Mickey's is also complicated by a very severe Gluten Intolerance, so she will need to be on a GF diet for the rest of her life. There is no set treatment for Fibro, especially in her age. We have chosen a natural course of treatment. Mickey currently takes 16 pills a day of vitamins and suppliments, plus her mild daily laxative (which is a softener not a stimulant, so it's safe for her to take as long as she needs, even forever). Though the disease itself does not cause physical damage, the effects of the symptoms can. Her immune system is weaker than most children her age and her intolerance to gluten is so sensitive that one meal with gluten in it will give her a temp of over 101 for 3 days. The insomnia makes it harder to recover from even a mild cold. Also any infection (viral or bacterial) sets her into a flare up of Fibro symptoms (worse insomnia, high fever, headaches, stomach pain, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome- CFS and chronic all over pain or discomfort).
Another bittersweet thing for us is that thankfully Mickey will never be alone in this. Because my sister also suffers from Fibromyalgia (and was diagnosed as a juvenile), she can completely understand how Mickey feels. Mickey will always have someone to turn to and talk to about what she is going through. Fibromyalgia is one of the most misunderstoond diseases out there, but Mickey will always have love and support (from all her friends and family). It will be tough at times, especially right now since she still doesn't understand why sometimes she just doesn't feel good or gets tired very easily when they other kids don't. Thankfully I am able to stay home and homeschool her, so that she doesn't have to deal with this in a public school. We work through it one day at time, thankful that it's not something worse and thankful that we are able to help her manage this. It's not easy to watch a 4 year old suffer, but she is a lot better than she was 1-2 years ago and we will continue to research and try to find ways to help her even more.
So that is my bittersweet story of my little Mickey. Her story continues on and we will continue to help her and raise awareness about Fibromyalgia. There is one last thing I leave you with, something we run into often. There is nothing that irritates me more than hearing "She doesn't look sick". My daughter pushes through everyday with more strength and determination than some adults. She may not "look sick", but she suffers more than most will ever know. Some days she is happy and bouncy, others, she can't even get off the couch. Please don't judge an illness by how someone looks. Fibromylagia is often called the "silent pain" because often you cannot "see" just how bad the symptoms are, but know that they are there and they are very serious. In the end, keep an open mind and an accepting heart.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Vacation, sort of...
After being incredibly busy and stressed, hubby has decided to take a little vacation. He is home with us for the rest of the week :). No, were not going anywhere (I wish). We are pretending to be flat broke so that we can put money in savings for moving back to Cali. So what do we do with this marvelous time. Since we have one car and hubby uses it everyday for work, we are catching up on stuff I've put off. Today was blood work for the Boo (Mickey) and a dentist appointment for hubby. Also had to take Amee into the walk in clinic for a sinus infection. Tomorrow will be making an appointment for the tires and my time with my trainer. Thursday is Boo's follow up with Gasteroenterolgy at Children's Hosptial. Friday is eye appointments for me and Amee (and hopefully squeezing in a fill for my nails). It's going to be a busy week, but at least it will all be done.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Insomnia
Ever gone a night without sleep? Maybe even a couple? Makes it pretty hard to get through the next day as productively as your normal, right? This is my life. I have insomnia. I've had it since high school. There would be nights that, no matter how exhausted I felt, I would just lay in bed staring at my ceiling. Sometimes it's caused by my mind constantly going, constantly thinking about everything from stupid crap to what I need to do tomorrow. My episodes can last a day or two or weeks, months, even years.
I know there are medications out there that advertise that they help insomnia. I can't take them! I've tried taking over the counter and prescription meds and the results are not good. Sure they knock me out, but then I am unable to wake up when my youngest needs me. Oh yeah, did I mention she has insomnia as well along with an undiagnosed medical issue (the current speculation is that she has Fibromyalgia, but she because is only 4, they don't want to make that diagnosis yet). So I need to be able to wake up and help her when she wakes up crying in the middle of the night. Also the meds make me feel like warmed over death the next morning. If I have to choose between being tired or feeling like a zombie, I choose tired.
What I do take is Melatonin. Melatonin is a natural suppliment that can help aid in sleep. For me, it has about a 50/50 chance of working (better than nothing right!?!). My daughter also takes it, though for her it's about a 80% chance that it will help her sleep. It's very difficult for me to keep up with a 4 year old who is either very active or worn out from pain (happy to add here that her pain and fevers have been a lot better since putting her on a GF diet). I also watch a 2 year old boy 4 days week, plus there is a house to keep picked up, dinner to make, Amee's homework to help with, etc., etc.
Insomnia is a bitch and I feel for all the other sufferers out there. We have to play the hand we are dealt.
I know there are medications out there that advertise that they help insomnia. I can't take them! I've tried taking over the counter and prescription meds and the results are not good. Sure they knock me out, but then I am unable to wake up when my youngest needs me. Oh yeah, did I mention she has insomnia as well along with an undiagnosed medical issue (the current speculation is that she has Fibromyalgia, but she because is only 4, they don't want to make that diagnosis yet). So I need to be able to wake up and help her when she wakes up crying in the middle of the night. Also the meds make me feel like warmed over death the next morning. If I have to choose between being tired or feeling like a zombie, I choose tired.
What I do take is Melatonin. Melatonin is a natural suppliment that can help aid in sleep. For me, it has about a 50/50 chance of working (better than nothing right!?!). My daughter also takes it, though for her it's about a 80% chance that it will help her sleep. It's very difficult for me to keep up with a 4 year old who is either very active or worn out from pain (happy to add here that her pain and fevers have been a lot better since putting her on a GF diet). I also watch a 2 year old boy 4 days week, plus there is a house to keep picked up, dinner to make, Amee's homework to help with, etc., etc.
Insomnia is a bitch and I feel for all the other sufferers out there. We have to play the hand we are dealt.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Busy Weekend! Harry Connick Jr. and Sicky Children
This last weekend was very busy. On Saturday, Amee woke up stuffy with a scratchy throat and low grade fever. Oh yeah! First cold of the new school year. I'm so looking forward to homeschooling her again starting next year. It really limits the amounth of nasties that get trailed through the house. The good news is that Amee has a fantastic immune system. Most doctors will tell you that children in school will get sick 6-12 times a year (some docs say 6-8, some say 10-12). Amee gets sick 1-3 times a year and she's usually over it in a day or two :). Unfortunately she shared the nastiness with her little sister, who doesn't handle illness with the same flare as Amee. This led to me be woken up at 3am Monday morning by a screaming 4 year old with a fever of 101.2. Thankfully she is doing much better today.
Saturday I was by myself with the kids. I had planned on cleaning and getting caught up with laundry, but Amee took up a lot of my time. Because she doesn't get sick very often, she gets pretty needy when she's not feeling well. Ryan was at work all day, running a charity tennis tournament. I am so very proud of him for making it so successful. Ryan is the manager at a high end luxury apartment complex right on Lake Washington. The tennis tournament had 4 teams. The tennis pros (don't remember the exact name of the group), Seattle Children's Hospital, Microsoft and a team representing the property. He also arranged for Susan G. Komen for the Cure to be the charity sponsor. It went great! This was the first charity event he had to organize and I'm so glad it went well. Just wish I could have been there to be the supportive wife, but sometimes my mommy job comes first.
Sunday night was really special. We went to the Chatuea St. Michelle Winery to see Harry Connick Jr. He is my favorite artist and it was an amazing night! Totally worth getting rained on, lol (at least it wasn't cold). What an absolutely incredible entertainer. It was an early Anniversary/Christmas present to each and was definitely the best date we've had so far. We had wonderful seats and had a great view of everything. It was just so wonderful to be in the arms of the man I love, sharing something I absolutely love with him.
All in all, it was a very busy, but very enjoyable weekend.
Saturday I was by myself with the kids. I had planned on cleaning and getting caught up with laundry, but Amee took up a lot of my time. Because she doesn't get sick very often, she gets pretty needy when she's not feeling well. Ryan was at work all day, running a charity tennis tournament. I am so very proud of him for making it so successful. Ryan is the manager at a high end luxury apartment complex right on Lake Washington. The tennis tournament had 4 teams. The tennis pros (don't remember the exact name of the group), Seattle Children's Hospital, Microsoft and a team representing the property. He also arranged for Susan G. Komen for the Cure to be the charity sponsor. It went great! This was the first charity event he had to organize and I'm so glad it went well. Just wish I could have been there to be the supportive wife, but sometimes my mommy job comes first.
Sunday night was really special. We went to the Chatuea St. Michelle Winery to see Harry Connick Jr. He is my favorite artist and it was an amazing night! Totally worth getting rained on, lol (at least it wasn't cold). What an absolutely incredible entertainer. It was an early Anniversary/Christmas present to each and was definitely the best date we've had so far. We had wonderful seats and had a great view of everything. It was just so wonderful to be in the arms of the man I love, sharing something I absolutely love with him.
All in all, it was a very busy, but very enjoyable weekend.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Labels Labels Everywhere And Now There Is Nothing To Eat
A lot of people are concerned about health these days. As consumers, we are trying to become more aware of what is put in our food and therefore what is put in our bodies. As a mother of two children on a gluten-free diet, I am even more careful about label checking. It's not easy. If you don't know already, here is a big tip for you- the FDA is a big load of horse crap! Manufacturers know this and they take advantage of it every chance they can. Don't believe me!?! Let me give you a good easy to spot example. We have probably all seen those Diabetes Association labels popping up on foods right? The idea is that diabetics can safely choose these foods because they are endorsed by The Diabetes Association (or Foundation or whatever they're calling themselves these days). Anyway, it's supposed to make shopping "easier", right? WRONG!!!!!! Do you know what it takes to get this oh-so-special edorsement seal? A donation. Yup, that's it. Granted I'm sure it's a large amount, but ya, all they have to do is pay for the right to use the official logo. The Diabetes group does not look into every product they "endorse" and the ones they do check up on, the manufacturers have already cleverely made the food "look" healthy at first glance (what you usually find if you look closer is lots of sugar in different forms with "hidden" and confusing names, lots of white flour- which will shoot your blood sugar up just as high and fast as sugar, oh and can't forget, they load it up with fat and chemicals to make it "taste good").
You may think, well, shame on them for doing that, but what does the FDA have to do with this? The FDA does not regulate this kind of labeling. In fact the FDA is pretty relaxed on all labeling. Yes, there are things in place to make the FDA crack down, but then manufacturers will find more ways to cheat and lie the system and the FDA is too overwhelmed to do much of anything.
So what does this have to do with a gluten-free diet. Gluten-free diets are growing in numbers and not just as a "fad dieting" craze. Celiacs Disease is on the rise as well as wheat allergies and gluten intolerance. This means big bucks for manufacturers if they can find a way to get in on it. Unfortunately, it is done so with little reguard to health and the suffering that happens when gluten in ingested. There are a lot of deceptive practices going around with the labeling for GF products. For example, a company will slap a big old shiny label on the front claiming "Gluten Free". It may be big, bright or have nifty symbols, in short, it will be "eye catching". It will be somewhere easy to see. Don't be fooled, check the label!!!! Several times I have found, way down at the bottom, almost hidden in all the other confusing labeling, MAY CONTAIN WHEAT. Yup! The front says GLUTEN FREE, but the side label tells a whole different story.
What does MAY CONTAIN WHEAT mean? It's put on products that are in fact gluten free, as in the product itself was not made or packaged with any gluten containing products (wheat, barley and rye). When the product is made or packaged, it is done so in the same building and on the same machines that handle wheat containing products. This can cause cross contamination. Cross contamination is a difficult demon to deal with. It can be small enough that it causes no problems or it can make a gluten sensitive person very sick. The FDA does nothing about this. As a parent, who is trying to keep her children healthy, I don't see why they can't make it to where you cannot not claim "gluten-free" in any way, shape or form unless the product is not only gluten free, but also produced and packaged in a gluten free environment. Several products are already manufactured in this way and some of them by big name companies (thank you to General Mills Chex and Betty Crocker for producing some really great GF products). I am more than happy to pay a bit more for a product that I know is safe. I'm already paying over $4 dollars a loaf for bread that is safe for my kids. GF animal crackers run over $3 per box (which is a little smaller in size than a box of graham crackers). I don't mind one bit! It is so worth it to be able to give my kids some of things they like after having to restrict so much.
We all know that manufacturers are all about making money. I get it. But come on FDA, protect the consumers. Help us out just a little. Yes, we the consumers need to take responsibility for our own health and be educated and aware, but when these companies are going to such great lengths to be sneaky and decieve the consumers, it becomes that much harder to do. But until stricter regulations are in place, just be extra careful. Do your research and read the entire label and ingredient list.
You may think, well, shame on them for doing that, but what does the FDA have to do with this? The FDA does not regulate this kind of labeling. In fact the FDA is pretty relaxed on all labeling. Yes, there are things in place to make the FDA crack down, but then manufacturers will find more ways to cheat and lie the system and the FDA is too overwhelmed to do much of anything.
So what does this have to do with a gluten-free diet. Gluten-free diets are growing in numbers and not just as a "fad dieting" craze. Celiacs Disease is on the rise as well as wheat allergies and gluten intolerance. This means big bucks for manufacturers if they can find a way to get in on it. Unfortunately, it is done so with little reguard to health and the suffering that happens when gluten in ingested. There are a lot of deceptive practices going around with the labeling for GF products. For example, a company will slap a big old shiny label on the front claiming "Gluten Free". It may be big, bright or have nifty symbols, in short, it will be "eye catching". It will be somewhere easy to see. Don't be fooled, check the label!!!! Several times I have found, way down at the bottom, almost hidden in all the other confusing labeling, MAY CONTAIN WHEAT. Yup! The front says GLUTEN FREE, but the side label tells a whole different story.
What does MAY CONTAIN WHEAT mean? It's put on products that are in fact gluten free, as in the product itself was not made or packaged with any gluten containing products (wheat, barley and rye). When the product is made or packaged, it is done so in the same building and on the same machines that handle wheat containing products. This can cause cross contamination. Cross contamination is a difficult demon to deal with. It can be small enough that it causes no problems or it can make a gluten sensitive person very sick. The FDA does nothing about this. As a parent, who is trying to keep her children healthy, I don't see why they can't make it to where you cannot not claim "gluten-free" in any way, shape or form unless the product is not only gluten free, but also produced and packaged in a gluten free environment. Several products are already manufactured in this way and some of them by big name companies (thank you to General Mills Chex and Betty Crocker for producing some really great GF products). I am more than happy to pay a bit more for a product that I know is safe. I'm already paying over $4 dollars a loaf for bread that is safe for my kids. GF animal crackers run over $3 per box (which is a little smaller in size than a box of graham crackers). I don't mind one bit! It is so worth it to be able to give my kids some of things they like after having to restrict so much.
We all know that manufacturers are all about making money. I get it. But come on FDA, protect the consumers. Help us out just a little. Yes, we the consumers need to take responsibility for our own health and be educated and aware, but when these companies are going to such great lengths to be sneaky and decieve the consumers, it becomes that much harder to do. But until stricter regulations are in place, just be extra careful. Do your research and read the entire label and ingredient list.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
I'm a crappy housewife!
I think I may possibly be one of the worst housewives ever! I love my children and my husband. They make up a big part of my world. But I SUCK at the role of housewife!
So you're probably wondering why I have come to this conclusion. Well, I really truelly don't think I actually "suck" at being a housewife in my mind. But I definitely fall short of what a lot of people think a good housewife should be. I hate cleaning! I will do it, but not as often as should. I'm usually just proud of myself if everyday the kitchen is clean and the living room gets picked up. I used to enjoy cooking and baking, but I'm still adjusting to my kids recent need for a gluten-free diet. It has taken a bit of the joy out of cooking for me because I am unable to make a lot of my favorites (and sometimes when I do try to make certain favorites gluten-free, they come out horrible). I wait to do laundry until the last possible moment (hubby or kids are out of clothes) and I very rarely ever get to stage of actually folding and putting away clean clothes. The dining table is always cluttered and we usually all eat the living room. I consider myself to be very productive if the bathroom is cleaned once a week. I never dust (unless I'm moving something and notice the incredible amount of dust around that object). I don't vaccuum nearly as often as I should.
Now you're probably wondering what it is I do all day. The kids get fed at every mealtime (one way or another, lol). Most days I get some schooling done with Mickey. I watch a little boy 4 days a week (he is 2). I help Amee with homework. I workout for at least 45 minutes at home, sometimes 90 minutes and I try to get to the gym for 1-2 hours 4-5 days a week. Some days I have an extremely cranky Mickey on my hands, making every single little thing seem like an epic battle just to get it accomplished. It's not her fault. She deals with a chronic condition that can cause stomach pain, neck pain, headaches, insomnia, exhaustion and low grade fevers. It's even more difficult because after 2 years of doctors appointments, they still can't give us a straight answer about what's wrong with her. And I try to get in a little me time during the day (usually spent catching up with friends online or reading).
As you can see, I'm not really a "bad" housewife. My day is pretty full. But sometimes I feel like I'm failing at this "title". I know so many other moms that seem to get so much more done everyday. Their house is always clean, meals are homemade 99% of the time, kids are involved in several extra-curricular activities, they are involved with the PTA and helping in the classroom, etc. It just makes me feel like I lagging behind.
But it helps that I have a very supportive and understanding husband and happy children, especially since being a HW/SAHM is not something I actually wanted. I was sort of pushed into this role by uncontrolable circumstances. For awhile, I even resented it and that made me feel even worse. But Mickey just cannot handle public school. She gets horribly sick very easily, plus she has a very severe gluten intolerance and has her bad days when she hurts and has a fever. If she was in school, she would end up missing half of it anyway. This prevents me from having a job and means I stay home to take care of her. It took awhile to get used to this life. I just didn't feel like I was able to just be me, since this is never the life I pictured for myself. But over time I have adjusted and learned to at least like it a little ;).
Now if I could just figure out a way to keep the house clean LOL.
So you're probably wondering why I have come to this conclusion. Well, I really truelly don't think I actually "suck" at being a housewife in my mind. But I definitely fall short of what a lot of people think a good housewife should be. I hate cleaning! I will do it, but not as often as should. I'm usually just proud of myself if everyday the kitchen is clean and the living room gets picked up. I used to enjoy cooking and baking, but I'm still adjusting to my kids recent need for a gluten-free diet. It has taken a bit of the joy out of cooking for me because I am unable to make a lot of my favorites (and sometimes when I do try to make certain favorites gluten-free, they come out horrible). I wait to do laundry until the last possible moment (hubby or kids are out of clothes) and I very rarely ever get to stage of actually folding and putting away clean clothes. The dining table is always cluttered and we usually all eat the living room. I consider myself to be very productive if the bathroom is cleaned once a week. I never dust (unless I'm moving something and notice the incredible amount of dust around that object). I don't vaccuum nearly as often as I should.
Now you're probably wondering what it is I do all day. The kids get fed at every mealtime (one way or another, lol). Most days I get some schooling done with Mickey. I watch a little boy 4 days a week (he is 2). I help Amee with homework. I workout for at least 45 minutes at home, sometimes 90 minutes and I try to get to the gym for 1-2 hours 4-5 days a week. Some days I have an extremely cranky Mickey on my hands, making every single little thing seem like an epic battle just to get it accomplished. It's not her fault. She deals with a chronic condition that can cause stomach pain, neck pain, headaches, insomnia, exhaustion and low grade fevers. It's even more difficult because after 2 years of doctors appointments, they still can't give us a straight answer about what's wrong with her. And I try to get in a little me time during the day (usually spent catching up with friends online or reading).
As you can see, I'm not really a "bad" housewife. My day is pretty full. But sometimes I feel like I'm failing at this "title". I know so many other moms that seem to get so much more done everyday. Their house is always clean, meals are homemade 99% of the time, kids are involved in several extra-curricular activities, they are involved with the PTA and helping in the classroom, etc. It just makes me feel like I lagging behind.
But it helps that I have a very supportive and understanding husband and happy children, especially since being a HW/SAHM is not something I actually wanted. I was sort of pushed into this role by uncontrolable circumstances. For awhile, I even resented it and that made me feel even worse. But Mickey just cannot handle public school. She gets horribly sick very easily, plus she has a very severe gluten intolerance and has her bad days when she hurts and has a fever. If she was in school, she would end up missing half of it anyway. This prevents me from having a job and means I stay home to take care of her. It took awhile to get used to this life. I just didn't feel like I was able to just be me, since this is never the life I pictured for myself. But over time I have adjusted and learned to at least like it a little ;).
Now if I could just figure out a way to keep the house clean LOL.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Mornings Aren't Magical
This is my coffee mug :). On the back it says "Mornings aren't MAGICAL". It's absolutely perfect for me. I am not a morning person, plain and simple. I never have been. For as long as I can remember, I have unleashed my wrath on anyone foolish enough to attempt to wake me before I was ready. My mom taught me early on to use an alarm clock. Of course it didn't take me long to learn about the snooze button, lol! But that would lead to her wrath when she came in to drag me out of bed.
Then came high school. I joined the colorguard (don't laugh, our band and colorguard were freaking awesome!). This meant I had 0 period. Wondering what that is? 0 period is when you have to show up at school at the ass crack of dawn. Crazy huh!?! I would drag myself out of bed sometime between 5am and 5:30am, start the coffee, yell at the parentals (yes I yelled, I wasn't going in there, they were about as much of morning people as I was), then hop in the shower in hopes of improving my mood. Coffee would be tossed into a thermos, make-up and clothes tossed into the backpack and off I would go.
Then the fun would really begin. 250 cranky teenagers gathered onto the field to practice, practice and practice some more. Even in Southern California, some mornings were down right cold. And thick fog led for some funny collisions. Ever run into a quad set of drums or a line of saxaphones? I have and I don't recommend it. The band was released a few minutes before 1st period bell and then you would see the mad dash as they all rushed to change their clothes before class (most of us wore sweats to practice, you don't want to go to the rest of your classes in sweaty clothes). Colorguard had 1st period practice as well and our only hope was that the instructor watched the time so we could have enough of it to change and throw on some makeup before the rest of the day. All of this is a lot to stuff into the morning of someone who despises the hours before 10am. And yet, despite my crankiness and hatred of the morning hours, I looked forward to it everyday. I met some of the greatest people ever in the colorguard and band and I'm happy to say that 15ish years later, they are still some of my closest friends.
Then came adulthood and my first job, Disneyland. Oh yeah baby, I worked at The Happiest Place On Earth! Occasionally I had an opening weekday shift, which meant back to pre-dawn wake up calls. Again coffee was my best friend. I also learned to put my makeup on in the car in order to save time. Don't worry, it was in rush hour traffic, which in Cali means at times you come to full stop right there on the freeway. I'd put my makeup on, park my car, take the shuttle to the park and grab my costume. As I pulled on my costume for the day, I blastered on my fantastic smile. No really, I have a great smile. I would list it as my second best feature, second only to my green eyes. After I was dressed, I polished off whatever coffee I had left (keeping the thermos with me for refills, especially on 10+ hour days) and hopped on out to whatever store I was at, ready to be part of the Disney magic.
Then came my first child. She was born 9 years ago and I haven't gotten a good nights sleep since lol. I know longer work, but if you think I get to sleep in now, you'd be mistaken. But I do have my children well trained, sort of. They know that if they irritate mommy before my coffee, it is at their own peril. So now I sip my coffee from my Mornings Aren't Magical cup and think about different my mornings are now. 15 years ago my biggest worry was getting to school on time. I hated mornings, but it was relief to get out of the drama at my house and get to my friends who had become my family. Now my first morning hours are filled with making breakfast, packing lunch, getting kids dressed and Amee out the door to the bus stop. Then I plan for lessons (the youngest is home schooled) and wait for my little buddy to get here (I watch a little 2 year old boy 4 days a week). I take a few moments, with my beloved coffee and just let my mind wander. The coffee kicks in, my shoulders relax, the tension releases just a bit and I smile at all the wonderful memories of the non-magical mornings of high school. Then it's time to jump back into reality and my continueing quest to be the best mom I can be.
Monday, September 20, 2010
The Wonderful World of Cats and Kids
Parents will tell you that having children can lead to some very funny moments. They range from mild giggle inducing to a literal on the floor, my stomach hurts I'm laughing so hard. Pet owners will tell you the same. So what happens when you have both? Pure entertainment.
Today I had planned on doing a blog about names and nicknames. But as I was brainstorming how to start, one of my cats plopped himself down up against my feet and began whipping my shins with his tail. This is just one of his many ways of letting me know he now requires my attention. So it got me thinking about the joys of parenting, whether it be actual children or "furr babies".
I have 2 children, Amethyst (9) and Mykayla (4). I also have 2 furr children. Mogli the Jungle Boy (approx 3) and Irridessa the Light Fairy (approx 2).
Me and my girls
Irridessa
Mogli
All 4 of my babies have very different personalities. Amethyst is a slightly awkward, outgoing people pleaser with a touch of girly. Mykayla is the bulldozer (or enforcer to quote a title used by a family member that has a daughter with a similar personality). Mogli is the independent thinking, daddy's boy. He also happens to be an excellent mouser. Irridessa is the attention whore. There is really no other way to put it. She is the one that will climb on you and lick your face at 3am if there is something she wants (and sometimes that "something" is just to announce her grand entrance into your presence).
All 4 are pretty entertaining by themselves. When 2 or more are together, it can be down right hilarious. Lots of chasing, tagging, yelling and hissing. And the cats are pretty crazy too, lol. Mogli is the most ungraceful cat I have ever seen. A good giggle can be had when swinging his "feather tail" toy and watching him flop around attempting to catch it. He is constantly trying to walk along the back of the couch or headboard, which leads to him usually falling on one of us. It's pretty hilarious, when it's not you that is. Mogli is a big boy and does not ever land lightly. Irridessa is a licker. She will lick anything! People, walls, windows, plastic bags, boxes, the list goes on, haha. There are also lots of sweet moments. The 2 kitties are known as "The Lovers" around here, because they will cuddle up and groom each other. It's so cute to watch them being sweet together (don't worry, they're fixed, so no teeny babies). They also like to lay with the girls when they are not feeling well, which is why we sometimes refer to them as "Medicine Kitties".
I admit, there are times that all 4 drive me nutty. Being woken up in the middle of a deep sleep is no fun, no matter if it's by a crying child or cat sprinting across your head. But, I wouldn't change it for anything :). My life is never boring!
Today I had planned on doing a blog about names and nicknames. But as I was brainstorming how to start, one of my cats plopped himself down up against my feet and began whipping my shins with his tail. This is just one of his many ways of letting me know he now requires my attention. So it got me thinking about the joys of parenting, whether it be actual children or "furr babies".
I have 2 children, Amethyst (9) and Mykayla (4). I also have 2 furr children. Mogli the Jungle Boy (approx 3) and Irridessa the Light Fairy (approx 2).
All 4 of my babies have very different personalities. Amethyst is a slightly awkward, outgoing people pleaser with a touch of girly. Mykayla is the bulldozer (or enforcer to quote a title used by a family member that has a daughter with a similar personality). Mogli is the independent thinking, daddy's boy. He also happens to be an excellent mouser. Irridessa is the attention whore. There is really no other way to put it. She is the one that will climb on you and lick your face at 3am if there is something she wants (and sometimes that "something" is just to announce her grand entrance into your presence).
All 4 are pretty entertaining by themselves. When 2 or more are together, it can be down right hilarious. Lots of chasing, tagging, yelling and hissing. And the cats are pretty crazy too, lol. Mogli is the most ungraceful cat I have ever seen. A good giggle can be had when swinging his "feather tail" toy and watching him flop around attempting to catch it. He is constantly trying to walk along the back of the couch or headboard, which leads to him usually falling on one of us. It's pretty hilarious, when it's not you that is. Mogli is a big boy and does not ever land lightly. Irridessa is a licker. She will lick anything! People, walls, windows, plastic bags, boxes, the list goes on, haha. There are also lots of sweet moments. The 2 kitties are known as "The Lovers" around here, because they will cuddle up and groom each other. It's so cute to watch them being sweet together (don't worry, they're fixed, so no teeny babies). They also like to lay with the girls when they are not feeling well, which is why we sometimes refer to them as "Medicine Kitties".
I admit, there are times that all 4 drive me nutty. Being woken up in the middle of a deep sleep is no fun, no matter if it's by a crying child or cat sprinting across your head. But, I wouldn't change it for anything :). My life is never boring!
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