Blah, Blah, Effing Blah

Ya, I forgot about the blog again. No big surprise there! It's just been a bit hectic. I'm battling the weight loss demon in an everlasting pushing-the-boulder-uphill disaster. Actually, if I was in fact pushing a boulder uphill, I would probably drop the weight a lot faster. It's a major struggle for me. I eat really well, no junk food (haven't had a french fry in months), lots of fresh fruits and veggies, low cal smoothies, well balanced meals, working out 6 or 7 days a week ( 60-90 minutes of cardio everyday and 30-60 minutes of circuit/weight training at least 3 days a week) and I'm still getting no where fast.

Mickey has been an absolute handful lately. She has gone back to fighting me on the naps and not sleeping well at night. She was doing so well for awhile, but ever since Halloween, she's been a walking nightmare. I fight with her all afternoon trying to get her to go to sleep, then she's restless all night because she didn't get as much activity. If I do let her up without her actually sleeping, she is irritable and defiant and by 5 or 6 o'clock, complete melt-down. I'm at my witts end and about ready to pull my hair out. I'm back to crying everyday because I just don't know how to help her and she is wearing me down. I'm finding it hard to concentrate on my workouts because I'm constantly thinking about having to go back home and deal with her all over again. And then the next day she wakes up cranky and usually with a fever, because she's just not getting enough sleep and we go through the cycle all over again.

And then there is all the home stuff to do. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, all the fun stuff that piles up day after day. It's never ending. I am thankful to have a wonderful husband that helps me out when he can, but M-F, it's pretty much all me and when you pile this on top of dealing with Mickey and still making sure I make time for Amee, it's pretty freaking exhausting (and of course, I don't sleep much, so that just slaps on another layer).

I know I'm pretty much whining at this point, but I've got to get it off my chest somehow. I'm tired of being fat, feeling like a failure, feeling tired, overworked and under-appreciated, feeling helpless and sometimes down-right lonely. But life marches on, although sometimes it feels it's marching right across your back.